What is Business Vitatliy Coaching
Yes, we work on creating your own systems, checklists and to do’s to get done if that all feels helpful to you. We also lean deeply into YOU, who you are and your desires. It’s not just owning yourself and your gifts, but giving them the respect and boundaries that they deserve.
Helping creative entrepreneurs do what they want in a way that they want to is what creates sustainability and longevity in a business, and more importantly in you. This is what not only births your business baby into the world, it’s also what helps it develop into exactly what it’s meant to be. Not only will your business become this beautiful thing you never knew it could be, you’ll also become sufficient in nurturing yourself, your desires, your needs… making YOU the person you never knew you could be.
LIFE FIRST, THEN BUSINESS
We start with building the business the way we want to around the lifestyle they want to live, not the other way around. We integrate tools to help the creative mind funnel their brilliant ideas into monetizing action while also being able to be present for the big and small life moments.
It is the process in which I take my clients through to not only create a business they love, but a life they love as well. Because, if you can’t figure out how to love who you are, and what you are doing, then what is the point? The crazy thing is that no route looks the same. Sure, there are similar themes that come up from client to client, but each person is treated differently. The only thing that deserves a cookie cutter approach is cookies… and this ain't no bakery.
BUSINESS VITALITY BRINGS PLEASURE TO THE FOREFRONT
Business Vitality is an identity to a coaching program that was previously nameless. It brings deeper life and meaning to something that has already created immense transformation for my clients.
I noticed in myself that the coaches that I chose to be mentored by leaned into the area of intimacy and pleasure. I wasn’t on to my peculiar ways right away. It took some time, reflection and noticing of patterns. “Why am I so drawn to coaches who help with this deeply personal topic? Why do I see this as something to help me as a business coach not only in my own business, but to help my clients in their businesses?” I was perplexed by myself.
After investigating, going all in and leaning into my own questions, it came to me. Here’s why I’ve always been drawn to this style of coaching: because your business is a deep and vulnerable outward expression of yourself. It’s putting more than your heart on your sleeve. It’s your beliefs, talents, skills, and gifts all on full display. In addition, entrepreneurship brings up a whole deeper level of doubts, fears, guilt and disbelief. Your past stories about money, work and success all come to life when you start running your own business. It’s uncomfortable. If you can’t be intimate and look those vulnerable things in the eye, then they are going to keep rearing your head in your business and your life. They’re going to continue to call for your attention until you finally give them the space they need. My gift is to help nurture clients through that deep discomfort and to learn to find safety in being themselves.
In my work with my mentors and coaches I’ve experienced my own revelation. The biggest one of all is around the word pleasure. I used to see it as a waste of time, frivolous, indulgent, “extra.” Once I started paying attention to the way I would go through my day and life, I realized I was robbing myself of my own joy and pleasure by the way I was rushing from one task to the next, looking to others for approval, and placing massive judgement on others which turned into a mirror of judgement on myself.
Bringing this to my own attention was empowering. It reviewed how in control I actually am of the joy & pleasure in my life, business, and days. It has nothing to do with quantity (more, more, more) and everything to do with quality. By quality I mean slowing down and paying attention-- seeing the wins, noticing what actually felt like a “hell yes” and what things I was doing out of obligation.
YOU’RE SAFE TO BE YOU & TO BE SEEN (it’s actually a danger to hide)
For people to see, witness, be inspired by you can be a really scary thing to do. “What if people don’t buy what I’m making? What if I actually do become successful at this? Do I even know how to handle that? What if I get judged?” These are all sneaky questions that stop us in our tracks of putting our God given gifts out into the world. Judgement of others. It can be paralyzing.
My Business Vitality Coaching program doesn’t teach you to brush off the judgements and forge ahead anyway. Instead we face those perceived judgements head-on and little by little we chip away at them so they eventually are the fuel to our flame, not the hose that puts our flame out.
We question what we want. We claim it and declare it. We figure out how to become the person who gets what she wants. We take action despite the fears. We speak the truth despite the waves. We create our world as we wish, despite the rules we’ve boxed ourselves in with. We create true belief in the statement “you can have it all.”
It’s been a journey to get here, both for myself and my clients. It’s been an honor to serve the amazing souls, business and brands I’ve encountered, and it makes me feel giddy excitement to think about who and what is ahead.
Recently someone asked me to share my beliefs, values and passions outside of my business as they felt it was important to know a coach they’d be working with closely.
Truthfully, my personal beliefs and values are also my business values. Perhaps that is what makes me a quirky business coach.
Here’s the truth: I’m a mom of two little kiddos, and married to a college baseball coach, so we are in the thick of it all, tantrums, sweet snuggles and all the in-between. I’m passionate about having our kids see their parents get to do what they love everyday.
I want my kids to see it’s possible for them because their parents are doing it now. With that said, I also value disconnecting from our work when that is over to have present time with our kids and family. Our present time and attention is powerful.
When I’m a present mom, I’m an awesome Mom. When I’m a present wife, I’m an amazing wife. When I'm a present coach, I am an awesome coach. Heck, even when I’m present when making a meal, they sometimes turn out pretty decent.
I believe that how we do one thing is how we do everything.. Whether it is in our relationships with others, our relationship with ourself, our relationship with food, our health, our business, etc.
Are you getting triggered by something someone else is doing or saying? Perhaps that’s a direct reflection of something in your life or business that you’re avoiding.
I believe we are all a little bit afraid of our own potential and that we are actually limitless beings. That can be scary because so often we base our belief on our evidence, like “I’ve actually never had XYZ so I don’t actually know if it’s attainable.” Having your own back is literally the most powerful, freeing and liberating feeling in the world, with a side of sweaty palms, at first.
I believe our lives are richer when we can just fully be ourselves, and in doing so we can fully see others as the magic that they are. We hold less judgement if someone is doing something “the right way”, less seeing lack in ourselves and therefore seeing lack in others. When we love the heck out of ourselves, we can love others more fully, and love all of life’s pleasures more fully as well.
I’m passionate about creating a calm mind & having presence because it’s the little tiny moments that make our lives truly amazing.
I FOCUS ON LIVING
My dad passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly 5 years ago which has created many profound lessons in my life, influenced the legacy I want to create, offered me the experience of navigating grief, living through trauma, and truthfully it makes me think about death daily. I don’t think about dying, but rather LIVING your life fully alive NOW in this very moment.
I also feel that we just know who we are energetically aligned with. We don’t need the resume, list of facts, etc…we just know. There is deep power in our knowing. Our intuition is powerful. And, I bet you just know, too.
Another thing that likely makes me a quirky business coach is the number of unpopular opinions that I have.
Truth be told, the more I tell people these opinions the more “yassss!” responses I get from people. Yes, yes with an “a,” you know, the kind where people sing it from their soul. Yassss!
I believe you can have it all. Whatever “all” is to you, you can have it. With that thought I also believe there is a misconception that having it all means that we are all places, showing up perfectly at one time. No. For me, having it all is being so in the moment of what you’re doing and being fully present and aware. That can look completely different for some people.
I don’t believe that “niching down” can often be the scapegoat of avoiding just putting yourself out there. How can you know who you’re truly helping if you’re not actually helping anyone or telling them you can help them. I don’t believe that your niche is fully decided by you, but rather it evolves and emerges through the people that you work with.
When you show up as a person who can help someone, the right people will raise their hands to work with you, and then it’s up to you to pay attention to the themes. You don’t truly define your niche until you start casting your wide net.
I believe when you’re fully you, your business will shine brighter than ever before. There is an immense energy backing a person who is showing up exactly as themselves, fully unapologetic.
We are all a little afraid to show ourselves fully and to be seen as being yourself is an extremely vulnerable thing to do. To finally rid yourself of the fear of other people’s opinions takes work- deep, deep work. But the rewards? Mmmm… they are everything.
I believe that the wrong way to run a business is anyone’s else’s way. Anything done with a big “should” feeling is actually a huge no. You created your own business for a reason, and one of those reasons was to do it your way.
So, why let anyone else tell you what to do? We can take input, suggestions and ideas but at the end of the day you are your own authority over your life and business so you get to question “who said?” anytime you start doing something that doesn’t feel right.
I believe one conversation can change your life. Hello? That’s why I’m a coach! I believe words are powerful, especially words taken out of your brain and spoken to someone who is fully listening and holding space for you. Just the mere act of someone asking you “why?” or “what do you want?” can truly be the catalyst for someone making a decision they’ve been stumbling over for a long time, or it can interrupt years of a false truth holding them back.
I believe the hardest things in life are actually happening FOR you. This one stung for a long time when I first realized it. “You mean to tell me that my Dad dying happened FOR me? You mean to tell me that XYZ (insert your toughest thing you’ve ever lived through) happened FOR me?”
Yes, it’s a tough one to swallow and truthfully I’m still digesting it. However, this thought alone has helped carry me through obstacles big and small. It allows me to step back and ask “what is this experience really trying to tell me?”
I believe that the morning routine is overrated…what about the night before? Seriously, we put the morning routine on a pedestal, but how do you prepare for the morning? The night before.
I believe when we approach our work and life with curiosity is when we have the most fun. I always tell my clients that curiosity is my favorite feeling. Take the sentence “I don’t know where to start” for example. When associated with the feeling of overwhelm, we freeze. However, when we choose to feel curiosity, that daunting sentence now becomes a playground. “If I did know where to start, what would I do first?” Can you feel the shift?
I believe people place too much value in finding the right system to bring their business to the next level. Yes, systems are amazing to utilize and great tools to implement into your business, and you’re only as good as the systems you use. So, if you’re not working on you, creating absolute belief in yourself, your product and your clients or customers then the system won’t take you near as far as it could.
I believe we will all truly do what we want. If we want to leave the job we will find a way out. If we want to stay, we will create ways to stay. In my opinion, the great recession was inevitable. I also support the belief that “people don’t leave their job, they leave their boss,” however, what’s not taken into consideration is that people will also say yes to their dreams and that has nothing to do with their boss.
This is me, this is who I am, this is what makes me the quirky business coach. Want to hang out? Grab a spot on my calendar and let’s talk about your quirks: https://calendly.com/livewellwithkell/30-minute-coffee-chat
For the longest time that has been something that has held me back. “If I can’t follow this plan, will I ever be able to follow any?” Queue the feelings of frustration, hopelessness and well… like someone (me!) blew out the flicker of a flame that was within.
Some time ago I made the decision to stop living my life feeling forced. In making that decision, I’ve had to step back and investigate those things that make me feel like I’m trudging through the mud.
I want sharing my Messy Entrepreneurial journey to feel effortless, purposeful and intentional. If that means removing the rules then so be it. The path in doing so may not be clean, straight and linear.
So today you’re experiencing the messy entrepreneur in real time. You are witnessing the magic of slowing down and listening. You are seeing first-hand what happens when one is actively in the decision of “I will only do what lights me up, and be at peace with what no longer does.”
Today I’m breaking my own rules that I thought I “should” set for myself. These rules were set up as a plan for me to follow and the beautiful thing that emerged from them is that I started. Then.. the rules stopped working. So, I’m busting them. My new rule is that there are no rules. I started sharing my journey and this new truth in me was revealed… it’s okay to share the messy entrepreneur journey in a messy way.
I’m not sure when you can expect the next blog post, or even what it will be about.
But what I can promise is this:
Embrace who you are, fully. Messy or neat, you are beautifully made.
Share it with me. I’ll listen, I’ll hold space, I’ll hear it and see it… because, I see YOU, I hear YOU, I love YOU. YOU GOT THIS.
That’s what coaching is like with me. We set a goal and we work toward achieving it… but if something starts to feel off on your journey we create space to step back and investigate. No more pushing through, no more “shoulding” all over your process, no more half-ass showing up to systems.
That’s where the magic lies. That’s where the results are made.
Are you ready to make easy-feeling progress toward your goals? Then reach out. Let’s book a Focus Forward Session today.
If you’re saying there’s no such thing as an “easy-feelling progress” then you definitely ought to book a session. Something about that triggers you… and that’s awesome. Let’s dig in and investigate that.
We are all "mood eaters"
Aren’t we all mood eaters?!
Some of us just approach it different... approach it as a negative. What if it didn’t have to be that way? What if being a mood eater is a great thing??
Let me explain....
You can either be a REACTIVE MOOD EATER or a PROACTIVE MOOD EATER.
What does a "reactive mood eater" sound like?
“Ugh. When I’m stressed I just neeeeeed chocolate & crunchy salty chips. They’re totally my weakness and I have to have them now. I’m so bad at eating healthy... I’ll never be able to figure this out. I do so so good & then my kid is sick so I get no sleep & craaaave candy all day.”
What does a "proactive mood eater" sound like?
“How do I want to feel today?”
Then... they plan, from a neutral state. Not stressed, not anxious, not starving, not stuffed
“I want to feel energized, so for my next meal I’m going to have xyz because I know when I have this it makes me feel good. I also know when I eat abc it makes me feel sluggish.”
👊🏼WE ARE ALL MOOD EATERS 👊🏼
Which side of the coin do you want to be? Proactive or reactive?
💥Join me June 7th for my next bootcamp. I am going to help YOU find that confidence and energy I know you have. I am going to teach you how to DO IT SIMPLE! I get the struggle. I LIVE the struggle. But, together we can overcome it! Get immediate access today!
Fast forward to health class when we were talking about cancers of the reproductive organs. One of the symptoms was extended periods of time of having no period. Woah. The lightbulb went off for me… I hadn’t had a cycle in about a year.
Insert freaking out thoughts. “Omg I have cancer. Omg I’m going to die. What am I doing?” (I thank Mr. S’s textbook curriculum for waking me up.)
This introduced another day of me going home crying to my mom, this time telling her that we need to go to the doctor. I didn’t tell her the whole story this time. I didn’t clue her in to all the ways I was starving my body… I just told her I was scared.
So… that day I changed. I started eating more. But it wasn't just that simple… that one day didn’t create the new version of me that lived happily ever after.
Instead, it started something new. Here I was eating more and I was GAINING WEIGHT FAST. Between my junior and senior year of high school I gained 40 lbs. I went from the skinniest version of me to the heaviest version of me. I was embarrassed, ashamed and felt like I was in 2nd grade all over again.
I couldn’t control myself and I was so so ashamed. I was in hiding. I would wait until my parents went to bed to make the biggest, yummiest, best bowl of ice cream right before bed. Oooh it was SO GOOD. Then, I’d feel terrible about myself. But that didn’t stop the binge eating choices. Sure I had it “under control” when I was with people. But put me alone in a room with cookies or chips + top the tater and I went to town. Salty or sweet… I wasn't picky. I loved it all.
I remember the first time I threw up after eating. Honestly, my stomach couldn’t handle what I put into it. It was way too much. So, I made myself throw up. I felt better… but still pretty terrible. This continued on and on. I never labeled myself as bulimic because it wasn’t all the time, and I didn’t lose weight doing it. I also never labeled myself anorexic during the time when I barely ate a thing… because, again… I had my own exceptions to these definitions.
Fast forward to college and it started to get a little better. I had no interest in puking in a public dorm restroom so that ruled that out, and I knew that NOT eating wasn’t an option anymore… so that was also ruled out. But, I just couldn’t get the weight off. I was getting better at making healthy food choices, I was getting better at working out consistently in a way that felt good… but still… no changes.
So, I bought Hydroxycut. Anyone remember those commercials? I hid them in my dresser drawer in my dorm room. I took them most days for a few weeks… but again… nothing was changing. I was stuck. In buying those pills (which I threw away the majority of) I knew there wasn’t anything “out there” that was going to help me. If I wanted to change I knew I needed to 1) do it “the hard way” and not rely on quick fixes anymore, 2) be cool with who I was right now, as is.
The mess I was in high school and college still to this day makes me feel sad. Not just for me, but for all the other girls who were in the same secret shoes as me.
Today, I feel good. Today, as a mother of two I have put in the mental work to make the physical work results neutral… whether I’m my leanest or my largest I’m more accepting of ME than I have ever been. I'm glad I was forced to put in the work as it has helped me connect with so many other women who have also felt alone, ashamed and unhealthily obsessed. I'm glad that it has helped me find a way out for good.
You CAN stop the battle against yourself. Giving your body the love it deserves is like what you’re NOT. The process of doing that may feel extremely uncomfortable... but trust me when I say it is so worth it. Trust me when I say I can help you navigate the discomfort of battling your body once and for all.
I'm here to help. What is a mess you're hiding from? What is something you so badly want to be doing with your time, but feel pulled to be doing all the other things? Let's talk. Set up a free breakthrough session with me so we can help you start living fully alive once and for all!
I was mortified. I didn’t cry right there in that moment, but I remember it well. I did go home and cry that night. I cried and cried and cried.
SECOND GRADE AND I CRIED ABOUT WHAT I WEIGHED.
How sad is that?
It’s sad, but it’s the truth. That moment forward shifted my focus towards all things weight and body image. As young as 2nd grade, I was so self conscious of the skin I lived in. When my worries should have been about what books to read, how to stay King in 4-Square and what my favorite colors were... there I was thinking about being fat.
This desire to help people feel good in their body didn’t just start in my adult life. It’s been my life always.
My mom tried her best to comfort me. She really did. But nothing could. I was fat, and I hated it.
Again, I remind you.... SECOND GRADE.
My heart breaks for that little girl me. It breaks for that little girl you. It breaks for the little girls today.
I’m also thankful for that little girl me, though. It’s led me to this today. It’s led me to being extremely intentional in the compliments I give my kids and other little kids. It’s led me to knowing exactly how you feel. It’s led me down some really ugly, ugly paths and also to some really amazing and beautiful ones. It's led to me figuring out how to move my body in a way that feels good, and how to look at food as fuel.
It’s led me to nourishing my body rather than filling it with junk. It has taught me about how to eat. It has shown me empathy.
That 100+ pound second grader isn’t a small part of me… she is me, the woman I am today. But she’s stronger, happier & more accepting now. She's wiser.
I’ve been there. I feel you. I see you. I know the heart inside of you is so much more beautiful and amazing than any numbers we see on a scale. YOU are amazing whether you’re 120 pounds or 320 pounds.
I'm here to help. What is a mess you're hiding from? What is something you so badly want to be doing with your time, but feel pulled to be doing all the other things? Let's talk. Set up a free breakthrough session with me so we can help you start living fully alive once and for all!
"SHOULD" Depletes Our Energy
Should is a word in our vocabulary that's a hard one to knock. It has likely influenced more in your life than you've ever realized.
Should shows up in sneaky ways.
Should creates judgement upon ourselves. It's implies that we aren't ____ enough. It implies that we need to improve ourselves and do better.
You've been on the rat race of the things you "should" do and likely in doing so you are straying further and further from the YOU that needs to be amplified.
You "shouldn't" do anything. When you come to any circumstance with that thought it feels yucky. "I should give write a thank you." "I should give a gift." "I should eat healthier." "I should workout in the mornings." Should, should, should.
What if instead you replaced the word should with the words want, desire or need. That carries much more personal power. That carries so much greater energy.
"I should write a Thank You." ----> "I want to express my gratitude."
"I should give a gift." ----> "I desire to make this person feel loved."
"I should eat healthier" ----> "I desire to nourish my body in a way that feels good."
"I should workout in the mornings." ----> "I desire to create energy in me through movement."
Do you feel the difference?
So, how do we take that a stop looking outward for "shoulds" in our life, and really become "me" amplified.
First, observe when "should" comes up throughout your day, and investigate that neutrally. "I should lose some weight" is a thought that came from looking in the mirror. What you saw in the mirror is cellulite on your legs. What if instead you just WITNESSED that cellulite. "I see you. There you are. And you mean nothing about me."
Own who you are. Own those "flaws" you think about yourself. They mean nothing. Rather they are a factor of what makes you you. There is no love or hate within the owning... it just is. For me, for example, I'm a little messy sometimes. I procrastinate and wait until the last minute. I have cellulite on my legs too.
Great. Own that. Don't change that. Own it and then dig deeper with it.
Should makes us battle against ourselves. Instead we want to respect the person we are. Respect the body that has cellulite on it. Respect yourself in the journey. Respect your boundaries. For the example in the video, I respect that I can't stay up past 8:00 to have a deep-life conversation. Out of respect for myself with that, I set up my schedule accordingly. With that personal respect, comes outward respect. My husband knows and respects that about me.
When we observe, own and respect things about ourselves, we are likely going to respect others as well.
My friend, that is YOU. Embrace that shit. Sometimes you get messy... how can you make that mess shine? Sometimes you put things off to the last minute... how has that served you in the past?
When we embrace who we are fully we shine, we become a magnet.
You don't need to improve (see the word CHANGE) yourself. Rather let's amplify ourselves. When you do so, your energy will be through the roof, and you'll be a magnet for others.
Ready to fully embrace YOU and live life fully? Reach out, and schedule a free 1:1 Breakthrough Session today!
"Kelly has been amazing to work with. When talking during our sessions, she has a way about her that makes you feel so comfortable, like you are talking to one of your closest friends. But she also has some tough love and asks some hard questions that can really push you to find your greatest potential. I also love the accountability she provides, but also the grace she reminds me to have with myself when struggles arise. I also appreciate the abundance of resources she has provided to me." - Leah
THE ONE WHERE SHE LOVED ART CLASS
First grade, I remember it well. I don’t remember our art teacher’s name but I know she was blonde, had glasses and was totally quirky.
We had a project to do. We had to make little piggy puppets for a Three Little Pigs puppet performance.
There were some in the class that just weren’t that into it. They hurried through the project and then messed around in the room, playing and getting into things. Man, bless the heart of all those art teachers out here.
But me? Heck no. I was lost in the creation of it. He had blue denim overalls with yellow buttons, a plaid shirt and the cutest swirly tail. While the rest of the class was all done, I worked on that little project up until the second the bell rang. Details, details, details… I made that piggy the best in class.
Looking back on this now I see two things that really stick out:
1 ) Being a perfectionist. I had to make it perfect. So often we look at being a perfectionist as bad, but what if instead it was something that just is. It's a thing about us. We love getting lost in the details.
2) I loved to create. When I create I don’t care what else is going on around me. It becomes my obsession.
That’s how I’ve always been… I get lost in putting things together with my hands. I love a good project. I love a messy process knowing I can clean it all up in the end. It never mattered to me how it got done… but the fact that I was making something all mine.
It’s no wonder looking back that this is something I carry with me today-- making things. I love it. This is me. This is who I am. I'm a perfectionist with some things, and a total mess in the process. You can create amazing things AND be messy. This is who I help as a coach.
I see you creators out there. You love to make things, you want to share things with the world and you also wonder “who would want this?” Trust me. The world wants your gifts and talents. Put them on full display and do so proudly. Not only does the world want your gifts they also want YOU fully, not a watered-down version of you, but Y.O.U. When you do what you love, you shine.... aside from the creations you create they want you, the creator.
Journal Prompt Questions
**P.S. I'm here to help. What is a mess you're hiding from? What is something you so badly want to be doing with your time, but feel pulled to be doing all the other things? Let's talk. Set up a free breakthrough session with me so we can help you start living fully alive once and for all!
2-Ingredient Sweet Potato Pancakes
Tomorrow we are putting you on the market. It's not because you are bad, we don't like you or you haven't been good to us. It's because we have filled your walls with more than you can hold & we need a place with more space.
The right person is looking for you. They are waiting for you. You will be exactly what they need. You were here for us during one of the most important seasons of our life. You were the driveway we pulled into when we were bringing home babies. You have seen and heard it all. The tears, laughter, arguments, sleepless nights, cuddles, cartoons on the couch, both awesome and failed cooking attempts. You have been our home and you have treated us well. I hope you feel like we have treated you well too.
Here are some ways you have served our family and have brought so much good to our lives:
You've been so good to us, house. I'm sad to leave you but also understand it's they way life is. You've been a huge part of our journey, and we've been a part of yours too. You deserve someone who will continue to love you and appreciate all the charm, beauty and character you have to offer.
Love, the McIntee's