Take a compliment
Repeat after me "Thank you." Try it. Just say it. It's so easy. Two simple words-- thank and you. If they are two simple words then why are they so hard to say?
How many times have you received a compliment and deflected it? "Your hair looks nice." "Oh my gosh, are you kidding me? This humidity, though." This response, or something similar happens more times than the two-worded, empowering, simple, yet so complicated phrase of "Thank you." I know I'm at fault for this. I can bet you are at fault for this as well. Lately, however, I have been trying to put myself in the complimenter's (a word I just made up!) shoes. If they are anything like me, they give the compliment because they notice something nice about you and want to express it. They tell you something nice because they genuinely think it, and they believe it enough that they want to verbally state it.
Don't make the complimenter feel awkward. When I give a compliment I don't say it to be put in a position of having to build a person back up after they talk down about themselves based on the nice thing I said to them. Author Jack Canfield noted that even when we talk down about ourselves in the most sarcastic sense in a way to not seem conceded or have a big ego, we actually begin to believe it. So, next time when someone compliments you on your hair, even though you may feel like the humidity is attacking it, just say thanks. And when you say thanks, believe it. Although you may be self-conscious of your current hair status, someone noticed it enough to make a positive comment about it. Maybe by saying thanks you too will see the beauty in it, and begin to feel less self-conscious.
I often joke that I'm not good at giving compliments. I know that makes me sound like an ass, but what I really mean is that I'm not just going to throw out compliments just because. I compliment someone in a genuine way that I know will make them feel good, and is based off of something positive that I notice about them, and is something I know (or hope) will make them feel good, nice or special. I'm not giving a compliment in the hopes that they give one back to me. I am giving it as a true gift, which is when you give someone something without the expectation of getting something back in return. While some might criticize my inability to give frequent compliments just because, I view it as a strength.
Next time someone give you a compliment say "thank you," and who knows, you may even start to believe it. Own your awesomeness!
4/12/2015 02:46:27 am
Good food for thought, Kelly! I like to read your postings and am always hoping for more of them! Have a great rest of April in Kentucky!
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