Meet My Iconic Muse: What My Dad Taught Me About Being Fully Yourself

We often think icons have to be famous. Like if your name isn’t trending or you don’t have a blue checkmark, then you can’t possibly be iconic. But what if being iconic had nothing to do with fame—and everything to do with being fully, radically yourself?

This is the story of my muse. He never graced a stage or held a mic or had a personal brand. But he showed me what it meant to live with deep presence, self-acceptance, and boldness. And I think his life might help you unlock your own.

Because your iconic version? She’s not out there. She’s in here.

The Best Life Is the One with the Least Thoughts

My dad had this way of moving through the world that made you stop and wonder: How is he so unbothered? He wasn’t performing. He wasn’t shape-shifting. He was just... him.

He once changed his shirt in a Texas parking lot—hairy chest and dad bod on full display—without hesitation. Why? Because he was hot. That was it. No spiraling. No overthinking. Just presence.

Icons don’t ask, “Will this make someone uncomfortable?” They ask, “What do I need right now?”

To live an iconic life, we have to unlearn the habit of performing and relearn the art of being. That version of you who doesn’t edit her words, shrink her style, or second-guess her desires? That’s the real you. The iconic you.

Be the Same You in Every Room

Here’s what I know: pretending is exhausting. Being half you at work and another version at home? That’s a recipe for burnout.

When my dad passed, a friend confided that she never really knew her dad. He was one man in public and another in private. And in that moment, I realized something powerful: I always knew who my dad was. The same version showed up every single time.

What a gift.

And let me be honest—our relationship wasn’t picture-perfect. My dad could drive me nuts. I mean, I cringed plenty of times growing up. He was stubborn, loud, full of opinions. He could lose his temper while moving a couch and swear like a sailor over a crooked picture frame. But I knew him. There were no hidden sides, no masks. What you saw was what you got—and that raw realness became the greatest gift he ever gave me.

I miss him deeply. And I also feel like I’m still in conversation with him. Still learning from him. He was the first person who showed me what it means to live in full integrity with yourself—flaws and all. And I didn’t always appreciate it when I was younger. But now? Now I see it as everything.

You don’t need to be flawless. You just need to be consistent. When you show up as yourself—quirks, contradictions, and all—you give other people permission to do the same.

You Can’t Love Others Deeply Without Loving Yourself First

Being iconic isn’t about ego. It’s about knowing yourself so well that you stop fighting your humanity. You stop beating yourself up for being moody, messy, emotional, uncertain. And that kind of radical self-love makes you magnetic.

My dad didn’t say affirmations in the mirror or post motivational quotes. But he loved himself in the most powerful way: by accepting who he was, fully. And because he did, he had room to see and love others just as fully too.

This is why I created the Inner Icon Archetype Quiz. Because maybe you didn’t grow up with an example of unapologetic authenticity. Maybe you never saw what it looked like to be fully expressed. But she’s in you. I promise.

So let me ask you: Are you ready to stop performing? Are you ready to stop shape-shifting and start soul-shining?

Because you are someone’s muse. Someone’s future memory. Someone’s reminder that being themselves is safe, powerful, and enough.

Be your own icon. And watch what unfolds.

🎧 Want to hear the full story in my voice? Listen to the “Who Is Your Iconic Muse?” episode on the What If podcast, where I share more behind-the-scenes stories about my dad, what made him unforgettable, and why his legacy fuels the work I do today. Grab your headphones and let’s go deeper together.