Recently someone asked me to share my beliefs, values and passions outside of my business as they felt it was important to know a coach they’d be working with closely.
Truthfully, my personal beliefs and values are also my business values. Perhaps that is what makes me a quirky business coach.
Here’s the truth: I’m a mom of two little kiddos, and married to a college baseball coach, so we are in the thick of it all, tantrums, sweet snuggles and all the in-between. I’m passionate about having our kids see their parents get to do what they love everyday.
I want my kids to see it’s possible for them because their parents are doing it now. With that said, I also value disconnecting from our work when that is over to have present time with our kids and family. Our present time and attention is powerful.
When I’m a present mom, I’m an awesome Mom. When I’m a present wife, I’m an amazing wife. When I'm a present coach, I am an awesome coach. Heck, even when I’m present when making a meal, they sometimes turn out pretty decent.
I believe that how we do one thing is how we do everything.. Whether it is in our relationships with others, our relationship with ourself, our relationship with food, our health, our business, etc.
Are you getting triggered by something someone else is doing or saying? Perhaps that’s a direct reflection of something in your life or business that you’re avoiding.
I believe we are all a little bit afraid of our own potential and that we are actually limitless beings. That can be scary because so often we base our belief on our evidence, like “I’ve actually never had XYZ so I don’t actually know if it’s attainable.” Having your own back is literally the most powerful, freeing and liberating feeling in the world, with a side of sweaty palms, at first.
I believe our lives are richer when we can just fully be ourselves, and in doing so we can fully see others as the magic that they are. We hold less judgement if someone is doing something “the right way”, less seeing lack in ourselves and therefore seeing lack in others. When we love the heck out of ourselves, we can love others more fully, and love all of life’s pleasures more fully as well.
I’m passionate about creating a calm mind & having presence because it’s the little tiny moments that make our lives truly amazing.
I FOCUS ON LIVING
My dad passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly 5 years ago which has created many profound lessons in my life, influenced the legacy I want to create, offered me the experience of navigating grief, living through trauma, and truthfully it makes me think about death daily. I don’t think about dying, but rather LIVING your life fully alive NOW in this very moment.
I also feel that we just know who we are energetically aligned with. We don’t need the resume, list of facts, etc…we just know. There is deep power in our knowing. Our intuition is powerful. And, I bet you just know, too.
Another thing that likely makes me a quirky business coach is the number of unpopular opinions that I have.
Truth be told, the more I tell people these opinions the more “yassss!” responses I get from people. Yes, yes with an “a,” you know, the kind where people sing it from their soul. Yassss!
I believe you can have it all. Whatever “all” is to you, you can have it. With that thought I also believe there is a misconception that having it all means that we are all places, showing up perfectly at one time. No. For me, having it all is being so in the moment of what you’re doing and being fully present and aware. That can look completely different for some people.
I don’t believe that “niching down” can often be the scapegoat of avoiding just putting yourself out there. How can you know who you’re truly helping if you’re not actually helping anyone or telling them you can help them. I don’t believe that your niche is fully decided by you, but rather it evolves and emerges through the people that you work with.
When you show up as a person who can help someone, the right people will raise their hands to work with you, and then it’s up to you to pay attention to the themes. You don’t truly define your niche until you start casting your wide net.
I believe when you’re fully you, your business will shine brighter than ever before. There is an immense energy backing a person who is showing up exactly as themselves, fully unapologetic.
We are all a little afraid to show ourselves fully and to be seen as being yourself is an extremely vulnerable thing to do. To finally rid yourself of the fear of other people’s opinions takes work- deep, deep work. But the rewards? Mmmm… they are everything.
I believe that the wrong way to run a business is anyone’s else’s way. Anything done with a big “should” feeling is actually a huge no. You created your own business for a reason, and one of those reasons was to do it your way.
So, why let anyone else tell you what to do? We can take input, suggestions and ideas but at the end of the day you are your own authority over your life and business so you get to question “who said?” anytime you start doing something that doesn’t feel right.
I believe one conversation can change your life. Hello? That’s why I’m a coach! I believe words are powerful, especially words taken out of your brain and spoken to someone who is fully listening and holding space for you. Just the mere act of someone asking you “why?” or “what do you want?” can truly be the catalyst for someone making a decision they’ve been stumbling over for a long time, or it can interrupt years of a false truth holding them back.
I believe the hardest things in life are actually happening FOR you. This one stung for a long time when I first realized it. “You mean to tell me that my Dad dying happened FOR me? You mean to tell me that XYZ (insert your toughest thing you’ve ever lived through) happened FOR me?”
Yes, it’s a tough one to swallow and truthfully I’m still digesting it. However, this thought alone has helped carry me through obstacles big and small. It allows me to step back and ask “what is this experience really trying to tell me?”
I believe that the morning routine is overrated…what about the night before? Seriously, we put the morning routine on a pedestal, but how do you prepare for the morning? The night before.
I believe when we approach our work and life with curiosity is when we have the most fun. I always tell my clients that curiosity is my favorite feeling. Take the sentence “I don’t know where to start” for example. When associated with the feeling of overwhelm, we freeze. However, when we choose to feel curiosity, that daunting sentence now becomes a playground. “If I did know where to start, what would I do first?” Can you feel the shift?
I believe people place too much value in finding the right system to bring their business to the next level. Yes, systems are amazing to utilize and great tools to implement into your business, and you’re only as good as the systems you use. So, if you’re not working on you, creating absolute belief in yourself, your product and your clients or customers then the system won’t take you near as far as it could.
I believe we will all truly do what we want. If we want to leave the job we will find a way out. If we want to stay, we will create ways to stay. In my opinion, the great recession was inevitable. I also support the belief that “people don’t leave their job, they leave their boss,” however, what’s not taken into consideration is that people will also say yes to their dreams and that has nothing to do with their boss.
This is me, this is who I am, this is what makes me the quirky business coach. Want to hang out? Grab a spot on my calendar and let’s talk about your quirks: https://calendly.com/livewellwithkell/30-minute-coffee-chat
For the longest time that has been something that has held me back. “If I can’t follow this plan, will I ever be able to follow any?” Queue the feelings of frustration, hopelessness and well… like someone (me!) blew out the flicker of a flame that was within.
Some time ago I made the decision to stop living my life feeling forced. In making that decision, I’ve had to step back and investigate those things that make me feel like I’m trudging through the mud.
I want sharing my Messy Entrepreneurial journey to feel effortless, purposeful and intentional. If that means removing the rules then so be it. The path in doing so may not be clean, straight and linear.
So today you’re experiencing the messy entrepreneur in real time. You are witnessing the magic of slowing down and listening. You are seeing first-hand what happens when one is actively in the decision of “I will only do what lights me up, and be at peace with what no longer does.”
Today I’m breaking my own rules that I thought I “should” set for myself. These rules were set up as a plan for me to follow and the beautiful thing that emerged from them is that I started. Then.. the rules stopped working. So, I’m busting them. My new rule is that there are no rules. I started sharing my journey and this new truth in me was revealed… it’s okay to share the messy entrepreneur journey in a messy way.
I’m not sure when you can expect the next blog post, or even what it will be about.
But what I can promise is this:
Embrace who you are, fully. Messy or neat, you are beautifully made.
Share it with me. I’ll listen, I’ll hold space, I’ll hear it and see it… because, I see YOU, I hear YOU, I love YOU. YOU GOT THIS.
That’s what coaching is like with me. We set a goal and we work toward achieving it… but if something starts to feel off on your journey we create space to step back and investigate. No more pushing through, no more “shoulding” all over your process, no more half-ass showing up to systems.
That’s where the magic lies. That’s where the results are made.
Are you ready to make easy-feeling progress toward your goals? Then reach out. Let’s book a Focus Forward Session today.
If you’re saying there’s no such thing as an “easy-feelling progress” then you definitely ought to book a session. Something about that triggers you… and that’s awesome. Let’s dig in and investigate that.
Aren’t we all mood eaters?!
Some of us just approach it different... approach it as a negative. What if it didn’t have to be that way? What if being a mood eater is a great thing??
Let me explain....
You can either be a REACTIVE MOOD EATER or a PROACTIVE MOOD EATER.
What does a "reactive mood eater" sound like?
“Ugh. When I’m stressed I just neeeeeed chocolate & crunchy salty chips. They’re totally my weakness and I have to have them now. I’m so bad at eating healthy... I’ll never be able to figure this out. I do so so good & then my kid is sick so I get no sleep & craaaave candy all day.”
What does a "proactive mood eater" sound like?
“How do I want to feel today?”
Then... they plan, from a neutral state. Not stressed, not anxious, not starving, not stuffed
“I want to feel energized, so for my next meal I’m going to have xyz because I know when I have this it makes me feel good. I also know when I eat abc it makes me feel sluggish.”
👊🏼WE ARE ALL MOOD EATERS 👊🏼
Which side of the coin do you want to be? Proactive or reactive?
💥Join me June 7th for my next bootcamp. I am going to help YOU find that confidence and energy I know you have. I am going to teach you how to DO IT SIMPLE! I get the struggle. I LIVE the struggle. But, together we can overcome it! Get immediate access today!
Fast forward to health class when we were talking about cancers of the reproductive organs. One of the symptoms was extended periods of time of having no period. Woah. The lightbulb went off for me… I hadn’t had a cycle in about a year.
Insert freaking out thoughts. “Omg I have cancer. Omg I’m going to die. What am I doing?” (I thank Mr. S’s textbook curriculum for waking me up.)
This introduced another day of me going home crying to my mom, this time telling her that we need to go to the doctor. I didn’t tell her the whole story this time. I didn’t clue her in to all the ways I was starving my body… I just told her I was scared.
So… that day I changed. I started eating more. But it wasn't just that simple… that one day didn’t create the new version of me that lived happily ever after.
Instead, it started something new. Here I was eating more and I was GAINING WEIGHT FAST. Between my junior and senior year of high school I gained 40 lbs. I went from the skinniest version of me to the heaviest version of me. I was embarrassed, ashamed and felt like I was in 2nd grade all over again.
I couldn’t control myself and I was so so ashamed. I was in hiding. I would wait until my parents went to bed to make the biggest, yummiest, best bowl of ice cream right before bed. Oooh it was SO GOOD. Then, I’d feel terrible about myself. But that didn’t stop the binge eating choices. Sure I had it “under control” when I was with people. But put me alone in a room with cookies or chips + top the tater and I went to town. Salty or sweet… I wasn't picky. I loved it all.
I remember the first time I threw up after eating. Honestly, my stomach couldn’t handle what I put into it. It was way too much. So, I made myself throw up. I felt better… but still pretty terrible. This continued on and on. I never labeled myself as bulimic because it wasn’t all the time, and I didn’t lose weight doing it. I also never labeled myself anorexic during the time when I barely ate a thing… because, again… I had my own exceptions to these definitions.
Fast forward to college and it started to get a little better. I had no interest in puking in a public dorm restroom so that ruled that out, and I knew that NOT eating wasn’t an option anymore… so that was also ruled out. But, I just couldn’t get the weight off. I was getting better at making healthy food choices, I was getting better at working out consistently in a way that felt good… but still… no changes.
So, I bought Hydroxycut. Anyone remember those commercials? I hid them in my dresser drawer in my dorm room. I took them most days for a few weeks… but again… nothing was changing. I was stuck. In buying those pills (which I threw away the majority of) I knew there wasn’t anything “out there” that was going to help me. If I wanted to change I knew I needed to 1) do it “the hard way” and not rely on quick fixes anymore, 2) be cool with who I was right now, as is.
The mess I was in high school and college still to this day makes me feel sad. Not just for me, but for all the other girls who were in the same secret shoes as me.
Today, I feel good. Today, as a mother of two I have put in the mental work to make the physical work results neutral… whether I’m my leanest or my largest I’m more accepting of ME than I have ever been. I'm glad I was forced to put in the work as it has helped me connect with so many other women who have also felt alone, ashamed and unhealthily obsessed. I'm glad that it has helped me find a way out for good.
You CAN stop the battle against yourself. Giving your body the love it deserves is like what you’re NOT. The process of doing that may feel extremely uncomfortable... but trust me when I say it is so worth it. Trust me when I say I can help you navigate the discomfort of battling your body once and for all.
I'm here to help. What is a mess you're hiding from? What is something you so badly want to be doing with your time, but feel pulled to be doing all the other things? Let's talk. Set up a free breakthrough session with me so we can help you start living fully alive once and for all!
I was mortified. I didn’t cry right there in that moment, but I remember it well. I did go home and cry that night. I cried and cried and cried.
SECOND GRADE AND I CRIED ABOUT WHAT I WEIGHED.
How sad is that?
It’s sad, but it’s the truth. That moment forward shifted my focus towards all things weight and body image. As young as 2nd grade, I was so self conscious of the skin I lived in. When my worries should have been about what books to read, how to stay King in 4-Square and what my favorite colors were... there I was thinking about being fat.
This desire to help people feel good in their body didn’t just start in my adult life. It’s been my life always.
My mom tried her best to comfort me. She really did. But nothing could. I was fat, and I hated it.
Again, I remind you.... SECOND GRADE.
My heart breaks for that little girl me. It breaks for that little girl you. It breaks for the little girls today.
I’m also thankful for that little girl me, though. It’s led me to this today. It’s led me to being extremely intentional in the compliments I give my kids and other little kids. It’s led me to knowing exactly how you feel. It’s led me down some really ugly, ugly paths and also to some really amazing and beautiful ones. It's led to me figuring out how to move my body in a way that feels good, and how to look at food as fuel.
It’s led me to nourishing my body rather than filling it with junk. It has taught me about how to eat. It has shown me empathy.
That 100+ pound second grader isn’t a small part of me… she is me, the woman I am today. But she’s stronger, happier & more accepting now. She's wiser.
I’ve been there. I feel you. I see you. I know the heart inside of you is so much more beautiful and amazing than any numbers we see on a scale. YOU are amazing whether you’re 120 pounds or 320 pounds.
I'm here to help. What is a mess you're hiding from? What is something you so badly want to be doing with your time, but feel pulled to be doing all the other things? Let's talk. Set up a free breakthrough session with me so we can help you start living fully alive once and for all!
Should is a word in our vocabulary that's a hard one to knock. It has likely influenced more in your life than you've ever realized.
Should shows up in sneaky ways.
Should creates judgement upon ourselves. It's implies that we aren't ____ enough. It implies that we need to improve ourselves and do better.
You've been on the rat race of the things you "should" do and likely in doing so you are straying further and further from the YOU that needs to be amplified.
You "shouldn't" do anything. When you come to any circumstance with that thought it feels yucky. "I should give write a thank you." "I should give a gift." "I should eat healthier." "I should workout in the mornings." Should, should, should.
What if instead you replaced the word should with the words want, desire or need. That carries much more personal power. That carries so much greater energy.
"I should write a Thank You." ----> "I want to express my gratitude."
"I should give a gift." ----> "I desire to make this person feel loved."
"I should eat healthier" ----> "I desire to nourish my body in a way that feels good."
"I should workout in the mornings." ----> "I desire to create energy in me through movement."
Do you feel the difference?
So, how do we take that a stop looking outward for "shoulds" in our life, and really become "me" amplified.
First, observe when "should" comes up throughout your day, and investigate that neutrally. "I should lose some weight" is a thought that came from looking in the mirror. What you saw in the mirror is cellulite on your legs. What if instead you just WITNESSED that cellulite. "I see you. There you are. And you mean nothing about me."
Own who you are. Own those "flaws" you think about yourself. They mean nothing. Rather they are a factor of what makes you you. There is no love or hate within the owning... it just is. For me, for example, I'm a little messy sometimes. I procrastinate and wait until the last minute. I have cellulite on my legs too.
Great. Own that. Don't change that. Own it and then dig deeper with it.
Should makes us battle against ourselves. Instead we want to respect the person we are. Respect the body that has cellulite on it. Respect yourself in the journey. Respect your boundaries. For the example in the video, I respect that I can't stay up past 8:00 to have a deep-life conversation. Out of respect for myself with that, I set up my schedule accordingly. With that personal respect, comes outward respect. My husband knows and respects that about me.
When we observe, own and respect things about ourselves, we are likely going to respect others as well.
My friend, that is YOU. Embrace that shit. Sometimes you get messy... how can you make that mess shine? Sometimes you put things off to the last minute... how has that served you in the past?
When we embrace who we are fully we shine, we become a magnet.
You don't need to improve (see the word CHANGE) yourself. Rather let's amplify ourselves. When you do so, your energy will be through the roof, and you'll be a magnet for others.
Ready to fully embrace YOU and live life fully? Reach out, and schedule a free 1:1 Breakthrough Session today!
"Kelly has been amazing to work with. When talking during our sessions, she has a way about her that makes you feel so comfortable, like you are talking to one of your closest friends. But she also has some tough love and asks some hard questions that can really push you to find your greatest potential. I also love the accountability she provides, but also the grace she reminds me to have with myself when struggles arise. I also appreciate the abundance of resources she has provided to me." - Leah
First grade, I remember it well. I don’t remember our art teacher’s name but I know she was blonde, had glasses and was totally quirky.
We had a project to do. We had to make little piggy puppets for a Three Little Pigs puppet performance.
There were some in the class that just weren’t that into it. They hurried through the project and then messed around in the room, playing and getting into things. Man, bless the heart of all those art teachers out here.
But me? Heck no. I was lost in the creation of it. He had blue denim overalls with yellow buttons, a plaid shirt and the cutest swirly tail. While the rest of the class was all done, I worked on that little project up until the second the bell rang. Details, details, details… I made that piggy the best in class.
Looking back on this now I see two things that really stick out:
1 ) Being a perfectionist. I had to make it perfect. So often we look at being a perfectionist as bad, but what if instead it was something that just is. It's a thing about us. We love getting lost in the details.
2) I loved to create. When I create I don’t care what else is going on around me. It becomes my obsession.
That’s how I’ve always been… I get lost in putting things together with my hands. I love a good project. I love a messy process knowing I can clean it all up in the end. It never mattered to me how it got done… but the fact that I was making something all mine.
It’s no wonder looking back that this is something I carry with me today-- making things. I love it. This is me. This is who I am. I'm a perfectionist with some things, and a total mess in the process. You can create amazing things AND be messy. This is who I help as a coach.
I see you creators out there. You love to make things, you want to share things with the world and you also wonder “who would want this?” Trust me. The world wants your gifts and talents. Put them on full display and do so proudly. Not only does the world want your gifts they also want YOU fully, not a watered-down version of you, but Y.O.U. When you do what you love, you shine.... aside from the creations you create they want you, the creator.
Journal Prompt Questions
**P.S. I'm here to help. What is a mess you're hiding from? What is something you so badly want to be doing with your time, but feel pulled to be doing all the other things? Let's talk. Set up a free breakthrough session with me so we can help you start living fully alive once and for all!
Tomorrow we are putting you on the market. It's not because you are bad, we don't like you or you haven't been good to us. It's because we have filled your walls with more than you can hold & we need a place with more space.
The right person is looking for you. They are waiting for you. You will be exactly what they need. You were here for us during one of the most important seasons of our life. You were the driveway we pulled into when we were bringing home babies. You have seen and heard it all. The tears, laughter, arguments, sleepless nights, cuddles, cartoons on the couch, both awesome and failed cooking attempts. You have been our home and you have treated us well. I hope you feel like we have treated you well too.
Here are some ways you have served our family and have brought so much good to our lives:
You've been so good to us, house. I'm sad to leave you but also understand it's they way life is. You've been a huge part of our journey, and we've been a part of yours too. You deserve someone who will continue to love you and appreciate all the charm, beauty and character you have to offer.
Love, the McIntee's
We are all experiencing challenges and changes in our routine right now. Some of us aren't able to work any longer, while other of us are blessed to be able to continue working but just not in our office anymore. Seeing more and more people being required to work from home, here are some tips that have helped me and my colleagues be productive, and efficient.
I have found that as a "work from home" employee I've always been self-conscious of the fear that "they might not think I'm working" so I initially didn't do a good job or taking breaks or calling up a co-worker to check on them. But the truth is, remote employees can have super productive days because we are often more in control of our distractions-- we don't have coworkers walking by our desk, it often feels like it takes too much effort to go out for lunch so we just make something yummy at home, and we have easy access to yummy coffee all day!
Here are some real life tips to make your work from home transition feel a little better:
BRUSH YOUR TEETH & WASH YOUR FACE
It may feel like everyday is Saturday right now... but how productive are we on a Saturday? Get up, brush your teeth and wash your face. That fresh breath and splash of water on your face not only wakes you up but gets you out of a "just lounging around" mode.
Working from home doesn't mean staying in your pajamas all day. Sure, it make take a few days to adjust and the pajamas may linger on a little longer, but eventually it may inhibit you feeling ready to start your day. I'm not saying working from home needs to be a fashion show, but put on something that you wouldn't be embarrassed to answer the door in. For me that's usually leggings or joggers and a top that matches. Mascara and a little lip gloss helps too.
MAKE A REASONABLE TO-DO LIST
Make a brain dump for what you need to do for the week and then each day pick a few priority tasks to complete. What are three things that would make you say "I feel accomplished" at the end of your workday?
GET UP & MOVE. TAKE BREAKS.
We aren't robots. We can't just sit for hours upon hours. Getting up a taking a break not only helps our immunity, but it also lifts the brain fog, circulates your energy and may even offer some new and fresh ideas. Maybe getting up and taking a break means you go to the kitchen and fill up on coffee, maybe you set a timer for 5 minutes do some squats and body weight exercises. Maybe you stop work for a few minutes, get up, step outside, look up to the sky & stretch your hands behind your back.
**I have a free "Make the Most of H.O.M.E." Challenge going on right now that includes short workouts you can do from home. Join here!
SET A TIMER
Set a timer for your productivity time. I find 25 minutes to be the sweet-spot of time for me... beyond that I may open a new tab, feel tempted to check my email, or peek at my phone to see texts or check on that rabit-hole of social media.
As you think about your to do list, you could label 25 minute chunks of time each day. What projects are on your list? Do you have emails to respond to? What other pressing priorities can you quickly accomplish?
Also, set a timer for your breaks. Before you know it, throwing in a load of laundry could turn into washing the dishes and your break may have gotten a little longer than planned.
CREATE A WORK ENVIRONMENT YOU CAN STEP AWAY FROM
Find or create a space in your home that you can designate as your work area, even if your only option is half of the dining room table. Create boundaries around that space so when you sit down you know you're in "work mode" and you are focused. If you have a room with a door you can close, that will help a ton too.
CREATE A WORK ENVIRONMENT YOU LIKE
Music helps. I love me a good playlist paired with a yummy smelling candle. Also, clean up your workspace as the end of the day. What loose papers do you have lying around. Maintaining organization will leave you feeling fresh and ready to start the next work day.
MAINTAIN YOUR ROUTINE
Just like you wouldn't go to work without brushing your teeth or getting dressed, also think about the time of day you need to be ready to work. How long will your "commute" take you? Is there a podcast you listen to on your commute? Listen to that while you get ready. How do you fuel your body before your work day? Do that. Maintain what has been working well for you. Do you get up from your desk everyday at 10:00 a.m. for a coffee refill? Do the same at home.
YOUR TIME NEEDS BOUNDARIES - TAKE A LUNCH BREAK AND STOP YOUR WORKDAY
Don't get so distracted that you forget to each some lunch. What do you normally pack for lunch each day? Have that at home.
Also, don't work until the wee hours. Stop. Stop your workday, step away, play with your kiddos, take a walk outside and then get back to work tomorrow. It can be tempting to go, and go, and go but that can also lead to burnout. Stop the workday and step away. It can get done tomorrow.
MAINTAIN WORK RELATIONSHIPS & CHECK IN ON A COLLEAGUE
Just like you drop by someone's desk as work, pick up the phone quick and check in to say hi. On your team calls, be flexible and allow some time for conversation to see how everyone is doing. We're human and we still need that informal interaction. A sense of humor can go a long way in the work day.
I hope these tips help you as you transition to unknown territory!