Shrink for What? The Cost of Playing Small in Your Business
“To be humbled means to rise in your character and allow the lessons to come through that must.”
Let’s get real: this post has taken me over a year to write.
Not because I didn’t have the thoughts. Not because I didn’t have the stories. But because I’ve had a complicated relationship with the word “humble.”
Even now, as I type this, I can feel that old internal nudge: Are you sure you want to go there? Aren’t you supposed to stay… humble?
But here’s what I’ve learned. Staying humble—and I mean the self-silencing kind of humble—is one of the most subtle and socially accepted ways women keep themselves small.
So today, we’re talking about it. Unpacking it. Rewriting it.
Because your next level? Requires you to break up with performative humility.
Being Humbled Is a Beautiful (and Sometimes Brutal) Gift
Let’s separate the two meanings of “humble,” because they’re not the same.
There’s being humbled, which is deeply connected to your growth.
And there’s staying humble, which is often about playing small and staying quiet.
When I talk about being humbled, I’m talking about that moment when life sits you down and says,
“Here’s a lesson. Are you ready to learn it?”
Sometimes you’re heartbroken. Sometimes you’re lost. Sometimes you’re not sure where to go next.
And in those moments, I say this prayer:
“God, let this moment help develop my character.”
Being humbled doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re in a growth spurt. It means you’re brave enough to feel lost and keep going anyway.
It means you’re coachable. Teachable. Expanding.
In my work with clients, I always say: the ones who are honest with themselves—who allow themselves to be humbled—are the ones who transform the fastest.
“Stay Humble” Is Just Another Way to Say “Stay Small”
Now let’s talk about the part that took me a year to say out loud.
The idea of staying humble—that knee-jerk habit of brushing off praise, minimizing our wins, dimming our light so others feel comfortable.
I know where mine came from. I grew up Catholic. There’s a lot of goodness in that upbringing, but also a lot of unspoken rules:
Be kind.
Don’t ruffle feathers.
Don’t brag.
Stay humble.
Which really meant: stay small.
I used to get a compliment and say, “This? Oh, it’s nothing.”
Now? I say, “Thank you. I love it too. I feel amazing in this.”
That shift doesn’t make me cocky. It makes me free.
Because here’s what I’ve realized: refusing to celebrate yourself is not virtuous. It’s self-abandonment.
It cuts you off from your own momentum, your joy, your gifts.
And I’ll be real with you—this gets personal.
When my dad passed away, my uncle gave a beautiful eulogy and mentioned the song “Humble and Kind” by Tim McGraw. And I love that song—still do. But it made me question:
If I stop staying humble, am I betraying the values my dad stood for?
Would he still be proud of me?
It’s not easy to unlearn these patterns. It’s not easy to choose visibility when you were raised to blend in.
But I also know this: my dad would be proud of the woman who knows her worth. Who celebrates her gifts. Who helps other women rise.
Celebrating Yourself Is Not Bragging—It’s Alignment
There’s a difference between arrogance and confidence.
And for women especially, that line has been blurred so much we don’t even know where to step.
But here’s what I tell my clients in Industry Icon, my group coaching program:
If you don’t celebrate your wins, you lose.
You lose out on:
Clients.
Visibility.
Opportunities.
Alignment with your calling.
One of the lessons in the program is called The ABCs of Success (you know I love a good acronym).
And in this case, ABCs = Always Be Celebrating.
Because if you don’t train yourself to acknowledge your magic?
You will default to downplaying it.
Here’s something that stopped me in my tracks recently. I read it in a devotional:
“Our trust in God is not separate from our belief in ourselves.”
Read that again.
If we don’t believe in ourselves, how can we claim to trust the very Source that created us?
If we don’t see ourselves as capable and called, how do we say yes to the path we were made for?
You need a healthy and hearty self-image to pursue all that God, the universe, your inner voice—whatever speaks to you—has in store.
My Daughter Lucy Doesn’t Stay Humble—She Owns It
Let me give you a real-life example. My daughter Lucy got a new haircut, and when someone complimented her, she simply said:
“Thank you.”
No flinching. No minimizing. No awkward “Oh this? It’s nothing.”
Just pure, confident ownership.
And she’s not arrogant. She’s radiant.
There’s a version of you inside—just like Lucy—who knows how to receive. Who knows how to stand in her worth.
She just needs permission. Or maybe… you just need to give her back the mic.
Who Do You Make Your Clients the Perfect Client For?
Here’s a question that humbled me and freed me:
Who do you make your clients the perfect client for?
At first, I thought, “Me! I make them the perfect client for me!”
But the real answer?
I make them the perfect client for their:
Copywriter
Website designer
Brand photographer
Because once you know who you are, you’re able to show who you are.
You become clear, confident, and magnetic.
You can step into the room and say, “This is what I do. Here’s who I help. This is why it matters.”
And that clarity? It makes every investment you make in your brand and business actually work.
This Is Why I Created “Being the Icon”
Everything I’ve shared with you today—the tension, the tears, the triumphs—is why I created Being the Icon, a 3-day challenge designed to help you stop staying humble and start being who you are meant to be.
Not the watered-down version.
Not the version that fits into someone else’s box.
Not the version that waits for permission.
The real you.
The iconic you.
The called and capable you.
Because when you finally meet her?
The “how” (the strategy, the plan, the next step) becomes obvious.
Because the “who” is already rooted.
If this message hit a nerve (the good kind), it’s because deep down, you know you’re meant to be seen. Heard. Remembered.
🔥 That’s exactly what we do inside Industry Icon—for the women who are done waiting and ready to become the go-to voice in their space.
You don’t need more credentials. You need more conviction.
💥 We start August 14. Let’s make your boldness non-negotiable.
👉 Learn more + claim your spot
This is your season to take up space—and lead like you mean it.
