The Hidden Fear Blocking Your Business: What Would You Lose If You Got Everything You Wanted?
End of the story first: You’re afraid of losing what you love.
The reason why you don’t have what you want right now is because somewhere swirling around in your brain is a story that’s telling you that in order to have the success that you desire you’re going to lose so much of what you currently have in this life you love.
You don’t have a strategy problem.
You have a safety problem.
And it’s sneaky, because from the outside? You look like the picture of “having it together.”
You’ve built a good life. You’ve got the relationship, the job or business, the home, the group chat, the Target runs… It’s “fine.” Maybe even “good.”
But underneath that, there’s a quiet, gnawing fear: “If I actually let my business become what I know it can be… what will I lose?”
The Fear Under All the Strategy
Here’s what I see all the time with my clients:
They create these brilliant, heart-led offers. Programs, masterminds, services that are truly needed.
They launch… and it doesn’t pop off like they imagined. Their brain decides: “Something must be wrong.”
Cue the tinkering:
Redoing the sales page (for the 8th time)
Tweaking the funnel
Rewriting copy that was already good
Changing the brand colors and fonts
Buying another course, hiring another expert, reworking the “plan”
It looks like strategy & it feels like being responsible.
But most of the time? That’s just fear dressed up in snazzy blazer.
It’s fear, dressed up as “being smart,” and “doing the right thing” trying to keep you safe… safe from losing the life you have right now that you’ve gotten so comfy in.
Because deep down, you’re afraid of what might break if everything finally works.
“What Would I Lose If I Got Everything I Wanted?”
I want you to really sit with that question.
Not in a cute, Pinterest-quote kind of way. In a raw, honest, “I might cry into my coffee” kind of way.
If your business exploded in the best way that you’re dreaming of… more clients, more visibility, more money, more impact… what do you imagine would happen?
Would your partner feel left behind or threatened?
Would your friends stop relating to you?
Would you get kicked out of the “complain about our jobs and husbands” circle?
Would your family label you as “too much” now?
Your brain is constantly running the calculation: Success = potential threat to love and belonging.
And here’s where that gets you stuck… if success feels unsafe, it will slow you down.
You might tell yourself you’re:
“Being strategic”
“Waiting for the right time”
“Making sure the backend is ready”
But really, you’re bracing for the other shoe to drop. You figure you can’t have BOTH— the great love story and the wild business success.
The Moment Everything Clicked
In a group program I was in, the chat was full of women saying some version of:
“I’m scared my husband couldn’t handle me if I became who I want to be.”
“I’m scared my home couldn’t hold my bigness.”
And the mentor said: “If they can’t handle you at your best… how small are you making them?”
It was a gut punch in the best way. Because we spend so much time trying to protect the people we love from our success, we forget we’re also quietly making them small.
We decide for them:
“They can’t handle my joy.”
“They can’t handle my power.”
“They can’t handle my income level, my ambition, my visibility.”
So we dim, edit & then complain about things we’re actually grateful for just to keep fitting in.
And then we wonder why our business feels stuck.
A Real Client Example
One of my clients created a truly incredible program. She’s smart, skilled, deeply heart-led. She loves her offer, her clients love her, and I love what she has created…
And yet: she could not stop tinkering.
Reworking her launch plan
Telling herself she needed a better business blueprint
Obsessing over how “ready” the backend was
When we looked under the hood, here’s what she found:
“I’m telling myself: you can’t have this level of love and this level of money.
If my business really takes off, something in my relationship will break.”
She didn’t need better messaging.
She didn’t need a new funnel.
She needed safety:
Safety to believe she could have love and success.
Safety to trust her partner to grow with her.
Safety to let herself be fully expressed and fully resourced.
When she decided to trust her relationship and her mission? Everything shifted.
Within weeks:
People started reaching out unprompted saying, “I want to work with you.”
Conversations turned into paid clients.
The version of her business she’d been vision-boarding for years started becoming her reality.
Her relationship? Still beautiful.
Her business? Finally reflecting her genius.
Update from client on how life + business is feeling for her.
There isn’t something wrong with you. You’re actually very loving & protecting what is precious to you.
Let’s clear this up:
You are not lazy, flaky, bad with follow-through, or “sabotaging yourself on purpose.”
This one fear is the sneakiest of them all.
You are:
Protecting your belonging.
Protecting your relationships.
Protecting an identity that feels familiar and safe.
And that part of you is not the enemy. She loves you. She’s just overdoing her job.
You can love your current life and want more. Those two truths can exist in the same body.
Wanting more does not mean you’re ungrateful. It means you’re finally being honest about your mission.
Questions To Actually Work With (Not Just Think About)
Grab your journal and answer these:
What would I lose if I got everything I wanted?
Let the unfiltered answers come out. No editing.If this business / offer / idea worked wildly well, what would change in:
My relationships
How people see me
My day-to-day life
Where am I fixing instead of trusting?
Where am I constantly tweaking instead of letting things run?
What “productive” tasks are really just hiding spots?
Where am I bracing for something bad to happen if it all goes right?
This is the work that creates capacity for more. Not just affirmations. Not just strategy. Capacity.
You Don’t Need More Strategy. You Need Safety for More Good.
You don’t need:
A prettier brand palette
Another launch template
A 37-step content plan
You need:
Safety to believe you can have love and money
Safety to be seen at your best
Safety to let some things naturally fall away if they’re not meant for your next level
This is exactly what we do inside my coaching spaces:
In Industry Icon, we blend identity work with clean, simple strategy so you can build a business that matches who you’re becoming — not who you’ve been shrinking to be.
In 1:1 coaching, we untangle the specific fears your brain is using to quietly pump the brakes, and we rewire your relationship with success so growth feels safe, not threatening.
Because when you stop bracing and start trusting? Your business doesn’t have to be forced to grow.
It just does.
And the wildest part? You get to keep, and often deepen, the love, connection, and joy you were so afraid of losing.
