Who’s Still Cheering When You Rise? (Why Outgrowing Friendships Is a Good Problem)

Here’s the thing nobody talks about: it’s easy to spot who shows up when you’re at rock bottom.
But the real tell?
Who’s still clapping when you’re rising.

When life starts to finally feel good… when your mornings feel light, your business is flowing, and you catch yourself smiling for no reason—it can stir up something you didn’t expect: disconnection.

You find yourself sitting at happy hour, listening to the same conversations about frustrating bosses and endless to-do lists, and realizing...you can’t relate anymore. You don’t want to complain. You don’t have a boss. You’re genuinely happy and that feels foreign, maybe even unsafe to admit out loud.

Sound familiar?

The Quiet Friction of Becoming Happier

When you start rising… emotionally, financially, energetically…your joy becomes sacred. You start protecting it. Because you know how fragile it can be when you’ve fought this hard to build it.

My coaching clients experience this all the time. They finally hit that point where things are working. Their business feels aligned, their days feel fulfilling, and their self-trust is the strongest it’s ever been.

But instead of feeling celebrated, they feel… lonely.
The group chat is still alive with complaints and crisis updates, and they find themselves sitting there thinking, It doesn’t have to be this way.

They used to be in those conversations. They used to have the “I can’t stand my boss” stories, the “my job is sucking the soul out of me” laments. But now? They’re free.
And it’s weirdly uncomfortable to admit that.

Because here’s what no one prepares you for: joy can feel foreign. It stretches your nervous system. It makes your body go, Wait—is this safe? Am I allowed to be this happy?

And so you do what most high-achieving women do when they feel that edge—you downplay it. You soften your wins. You make your dreams smaller so nobody else feels threatened.

But here’s the truth: when you shrink your joy to stay relatable, you betray your own expansion.

The Reframe That Changes Everything

A few years ago, I was in a group program for women scaling their businesses.
Someone in the chat said, “I’m afraid if I reach my full potential, my husband won’t be able to handle me.”

And the coach leading the call said something that dropped my jaw to the floor:

“Honey, if you’re worried people can’t handle you at your best… how small are you making them?”

That line cracked something wide open in me.

Because I realized—I’d been protecting people from my power.
Pre-deciding that they couldn’t handle my success.
Shrinking in advance to keep everyone comfortable.

But when you do that, you rob the people you love of the chance to rise with you.

The Real Meaning of “Ruin the Friendship”

There’s this Taylor Swift lyric I love—“ruin the friendship.”
She’s talking about crossing a line in a relationship, but I think it fits this too.

When you hold back who you really are to keep the peace in a friendship, it’s not real friendship.
It’s performance.

So, yes. Ruin the friendship.
Be the happy one. The confident one. The “I actually love my life” one.

If that ruins the friendship, then maybe it wasn’t built on authenticity to begin with.

The friendships that last are the ones where your joy doesn’t threaten their comfort. They clap when you rise—and you clap right back when it’s their turn.

A Lesson from the “Idea Protectors”

When I launched my digital magazine Founder, I was so careful about who I shared it with.
Not because I was hiding it—but because I knew not everyone could hold the vision.

I told exactly three people. Three women who were “yes, and…” people.
The ones who didn’t ask, “Have you thought about how much work that will be?”
Instead, they said, “Yes! And here’s another way that idea could grow.”

And guess what?
Those women are still in my corner years later. Because they didn’t just tolerate my dreams—they expanded them.

This is your permission to curate your circle.
You don’t have to exile your old friends, but you do get to choose your “idea table.”

The people who see you.
The ones who say, “You can totally do that.”
The ones who remind you that your joy isn’t too much—it’s magnetic.

Good Jobs, Golden Handcuffs, and Genuine Freedom

Let’s get real for a second.
Most women reading this aren’t stuck in jobs they hate.
You’re stuck in jobs that are good on paper.

The 401k is solid. The paycheck hits on time. The benefits are respectable.
But you feel… numb.

That’s the sneaky trap of the “good job.” It’s comfortable enough to keep you from creating something extraordinary.

And as your business starts growing, you’ll feel that tension between the stability of your old identity and the expansion calling you forward.
That’s normal. That’s your next level knocking.

Joy Isn’t Fragile—It’s a Muscle

We think joy is this delicate thing we have to protect, but the truth is—it gets stronger when you use it.
Every time you let yourself say, “I’m happy,” you build your capacity to hold more of it.

That’s part of what I help my clients do: expand their capacity for joy.
Because success without the safety to feel it… isn’t really success.

We work on building the kind of internal stability that says, “I’m allowed to love my life.”
Without waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Your Rise Doesn’t Require Apology

As you step into this new chapter, remember:

• You can love your friends and still crave deeper conversations.

• You can hold empathy and boundaries.

• You can outgrow a season without making anyone wrong.

And yes—some friendships will stretch. Some will fade.
But what remains will be solid, honest, and true.

Because you’re not meant to belong to every room.
You’re meant to belong to yourself.

So the next time you wonder who’s still cheering for you—look around.
Notice who celebrates your rise, not just your resilience.
That’s your circle.

🎧 Tune into ‘Ruin the Friendship’ on the Simply Own Podcast to hear more.

Ready to Be Cheered On While You Rise?

If you’re craving a space where your joy isn’t “too much,” where big dreams are normal and wins are celebrated out loud—let’s get you in the right room.

✨ Industry Icon (Group Coaching): Find your next-level sisters—the ones who clap when you win and remind you of your power when you wobble.
✨ 1:1 Coaching: Bring the sacred stuff. The big dreams. The good problems. I’ll help you stretch your capacity for joy, success, and expansion without shrinking to fit.