As I sit here this Monday morning thinking about the week ahead I realize it's natural to feel stressed. There's so much that I have to tackle for work this week, so much to get done to get back on track with coaching, and other fun things to go to here and there throughout the week. As I've gotten older and have started enjoying more and more of what I do, Mondays have been less of a dreaded feeling for me. But every now and then that feeling of "Monday, again?" creeps in. Recently though, my Monday perspective has shifted.
Now, when I look at a Monday I feel okay. Good, you could even say. Happy? Well, sure! Why? Well, not to sound too mushy but each new day we have is a true blessing, each new week is a gift. Before I would hear others say and think "yes, that's nice" but now I think to myself how thankful I am to wake up this morning. The stresses that each week holds really aren't that bad at all. In fact, what if we looked at the things we stress about as things to be thankful for? - "Ugh, so much to do at work" ------> "I'm thankful I have a job!" - "We have company coming this weekend and the house is a disaster!" -----> "Thank goodness for the people coming to visit us, and for the roof over my head." - "I don't have time to workout" -----> "My body is a gift, and I will try my best to take care of it." .... I could go on, and on. Today marks the start of week six that we carry on with our lives without Dad. He passed away on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The one thing that keeps popping up in my mind is, what he wouldn't have given to just have one more Monday, one more work week, one more shot at getting to BS with his co-workers, have coffee with his wife before hitting the road, to pet the cats outside, and to visit with all the people he ran into throughout the week... just one more week of going through the motions. So, today I ask you to do one thing....actually no, make that two. 1) Be thankful. Look at your Monday as a gift rather than a burden. We don't all get a Monday again. 2) Don't just go through the motions. Appreciate the day, be friendly to others, tell someone something nice, notice the beauty that is THIS Monday!
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Notice I didn't say taught. Why? Well, one of the biggest lessons I've been learning from yoga is that it's a learning experience... every day, every action, every move, every breath. The journey is never over, the learning never ends. Not just a learning of moves, but a learning of yourself. In the last couple weeks yoga has been what I've been feeling. It has been my preferred from of exercise. Lifting heavy weights, doing high-intensity workouts and running are all things I'm sure I'll feel like in due time, but right now I'm going to soak up the feeling of gaining strength by slowing it down and stretching it out. I'm finding a newfound strength on the inside that is even greater than the strength being gained on the outside. As many say, yoga is just as much about life as it is about working out and fitness. Here are some of the surprising things I've learned as well as reminders that I've learned about in life: 1) Your thoughts affect you You better believe they do. Your thoughts are things you tell yourself, and eventually you believe what you tell yourself. So be compassionate to yourself, be patient with yourself, and better yet... be proud of yourself! Talk yourself up to yourself. Find a mantra, or a statement that gives you power from within. Say it often enough and before you know it you'll be feeling it and believing it. 2) Shake it off Just because you fall down, lose balance or get a little fatigued doesn't mean you can't keep going. Take a step back, a deep breath in, shake it off, and regroup. You don't need to be perfect, but try you must. 3) It's a journey Start right where you are, and be okay with it. You may make progress as you practice, learn how to adjust along the way, and find enjoyment in the journey of getting there. Just like a roadtrip, half the fun is just getting there. 4) Your best today might not be your best of yesterday or your best for tomorrow Some days you got it, some days you don't. It is was it is.. but you've showed up, you've tried and you're doing your best. Do your best today, and be okay that "your best" may change from day to day. Life is a series of seasons. In some seasons we excel, others we just maintain, and others we take a step back and just need to regroup. Embrace your season... embrace your best. 5) Play Don't just get to a spot, position or pose. Once you get there, explore it a little. Wiggle your toes, twist your wrists, bend your knees. What's right for someone else might not feel right for you, so play around til you find what feels good to you. 6) Focus will help you get there Focus. Eliminate distractions. Be mindful of your thoughts, of your actions, and focus. When you're distracted, you stumble and fall. When you focus, you gain strength, build a solid foundation and can move forward further and with greater intent. When I have something I love, I feel the need for others to know more about it, to share it, and to allow others to experience it. For some of you, reading this post may be just what you are looking for, and is all that you need. For others, you may be curious, you may want to find out what you can learn from yoga. Will you learn some things that I didn't mention here? How will your journey be different? I encourage you to explore that curiosity, and I want to help you. Join me for a FREE 30 Day Yoga Challenge. I have some yoga videos that I love and can do in the comfort of my very own home. Interested in joining me on this journey? Fill out this form and I'll hook you up with the free workouts + the accountability group that we'll all be a part of to share what we have learned. We are starting on Monday, October 3rd! You in? In just two week's time, I've changed drastically. You might not see it when you look at me, except for maybe some new wrinkles on my forehead or some heftier bags under my eyes, but I've changed. I know these changes are good changes, changes that will make me a better person, live a more thoughtful life, but how these changes occurred is something I wish upon no one. On Sunday September 4th 2016, my family lost one of our greatest assets, one of our brightest lights, one of our strongest, funnest, sweetest, most caring, goofy and genuine members... my father. It was quick, unexpected and just plain not fair. The wound is fresh, the tears are often, the moments of anger pop up from time to time, but more than that are the dear memories I hold in my heart and the restored strength of my faith. The guilt is there during the times when I smile or let out a laugh, the waves of sadness come in strong, but I know it's all a part of the process. Since my dad passed away I've changed. I feel more. I feel deeper. I understand differently. My words have more meaning. Some things matter more to me, and some things matter less... much, much less. My patience for some things is much greater while at the same time I have patience for far less. Out of all of this, I think I understand my Dad better. As I've been growing into adulthood I was appreciating him more and more... and now I appreciate him completely. My Dad was a year or two younger than I am now (I'm 29) when he suddenly lost his brother. As a teenager he lost his mother. When I was very young girl, he also lost his father. So, while I can't fathom the amount of grief, sadness and loss that he felt three times... I think I now have a glimpse of it in losing him. And I think I finally understand him. I get why my Dad would say hi to anyone and everyone. I understand why his five minute hello would turn into a 45-minute sit down chat. I understand why the words, "well, I guess I just don't worry about it" rolled so easily off his tongue. I get why he judged no one and was kind to everyone. For the man that I couldn't ever quite figure out, I think I get him now. He knew how bad it felt and how much it hurt to lose a parent. He knew how deep the pain goes of losing someone you love. But through that pain he knew what mattered most, and he cared so deeply about those that are still here. I remember my sister and I talking once and just saying "How does Dad not worry about stuff?" And I get it now. Why worry? When life could change in literally the blink of an eye, why worry. Why worry about what people think of you. Why worry about what might happen if you do or don't something. That's easier said than done... but I think I get it now. My dad was a kind, generous, thoughtful man. He paid attention to people, said hi to everyone, cared deeply and loved with all his heart. Maybe you didn't always know or immediately see how much he cared, but those moments where you got a glimpse of it are what stuck with you, what would make your heart melt, and would just make you look at him in a different, sweeter light. Through his stereotypical Irish temper was a man who put his family first, who loved and honored his wife, who was proud of his kids and loved picking on his grand-kids. He wouldn't say a bad word about anyone (expect for the %#@&%*! drivers downtown) for the integrity of that person, and always kept it in perspective... except when he couldn't find his $%&#@$ screwdriver that HE JUST SET DOWN. He put anyone and everyone before himself, he would help me out at the drop of a hat and "Dad! Come here!" and who's own schedule didn't matter if you were calling him in a time of need... or buying a new car. He loved selflessly and gave his time and energy to those who mattered most to him, or to strangers who just seemed nice. Looking at his life from a "normal person's" perspective, you would say he had a lot of not-so-awesome days.... got walked all over a time or two, loved and lost, and got let go of a job where he put nearly 40 years of his life into. He had aching knees, hips and shoulders from that job, and worked harder for his family than anyone I know. He earned every single buck he made and did everything he could for my mom, for us kids, and for our family. We didn't take extravagant vacations, or have the newest and best of everything, but he was at every game, at every event. He patiently sat in the stands when it was a gruelingly long band concert or a game where his kids (except for Chris) lacked any sort of real athletic ability. He made the most of it.... WE made the most of it. To my dad, so much more mattered than how much money was in the bank account or what material things we had. What mattered most to him was putting a smile on our faces, creating a comfortable, happy home for us to live in, and teaching us the things that life taught him. After all these years, I think I finally get my Dad. I get why he loved everyday, I get why he gave with all his heart, why he worked so hard, why he never held a grudge and why he had such a great sense of humor. He was the way he was, because why else would one want to live any differently? The man had it figured out... and I think I'm getting it figured out too. You never know what someone else is going through, so just be nice to them anyway. You never know if your last day might be just around the corner, so do it anyway. You never know where that opportunity could lead, so do it anyway. You just never know... so why not. Why not make that stranger smile? Why not become friends with the car guy? Why not take your wife out on a fun day-date? Why not crawl around on the floor with your grand kids? Why not make someone's day a little better? I think I finally get why my Dad was the way he was... because he's been where I am right now. And he knows.. no one should ever feel this way, but if they have to, they should know how loved they were. I know I do. So have a little empathy, show a little respect, offer a hug and a kind word, quit being a sissy and fearing things that just don't matter, forget what people think of you, and make the most of each day. Find what you love to do, be okay that it may change over time, and leave a legacy to be proud of. Dad, for a simple man you were always someone that just made me wonder. But I get it now. I get you. And I thank you for all that you've taught me.... Love you forever, and ever, Amen. 1) PACK A WATER BOTTLE I bring an empty water bottle with me. Why pay $2.00+ per bottle of water when you can bring your own bottle with you? When traveling I find that I tend to stay much less hydrated, and I finally figured out why. It’s because I’d just buy one bottle of water for the travel day and that’s what I would drink.. I would try to make it last the whole day so I wouldn’t have to go through the hassle of buying another one. Ever since I started bringing my own water bottle I’ve noticed just how much better it makes me feel when traveling. Plus, now there are some fountains to make filling up your bottle super easy. 2) BRING A SNACK I pack some travel snacks. I don’t bring a ton because it’s not fun to carry around extra food, but it’s also not fun to eat junk that doesn’t make me feel good, or pay $12 for a “salad” of iceberg lettuce, cheddar cheese, a cucumber slice and ranch. I bring Shakeology with me. It makes me feel good. It provides more nutrients for my body than any food I can find in the airport and I have found time after time that it is more cost effective to bring this with me rather than get a sugar-filled coffee drink or smoothly. 3) TAKE A PICTURE TO REMEMBER THINGS Think about it, you’re in a new place, there’s a lot going on, and sometimes it’s just hard to keep all those numbers and direction straight. But, what is one thing that most people always have with them? Their phone. So rather than writing down information on a piece of paper that could eventually get lost, just snap a quick picture on your phone. 4) TALK TO YOUR NEIGHBOR, OR AT LEAST SAY HELLO Everyone has a story. You have a story and your neighbor has a story. I’m not saying be a pesk and ask your neighbor a ton of questions, or force a conversation when you just don’t feel like it. Instead say a friendly hello and you can gage is someone wants to chat some more or don’t. I recently chatted with some fascinating women on my departing flight to New Mexico. You can read about it here. 5) WALK WHEN YOU CAN Chances are when traveling you’re not moving as much, are a little less hydrated than normal and your eating may feel a little “off.” So, walk as often as you can or feel like. After a day of sitting on our butts, followed by a tasty dinner we seized the opportunity of taking a walk with nice weather enjoying a beautiful sunset. Also, it’s a great way to chat and connect with those you are with. Who doesn’t love a walk ‘n’ talk?! 6) GET TO KNOW SOME OF THE CULTURE Soak it all in. Open your eyes and look around. What do you notice? How is it like your home? What do you notice that’s different? Ask locals recommendations for best places to sight see, do and… my favorite… eat. 7) EXERCISE DAILY & TAKE CARE OF YOU Just like walking as often as you can, make some time to move a little whether it be a workout in the gym, take the stairs in the hotel a couple times a day, or work in a few squats or lunges during that walk. Who doesn’t hate “getting back on track” after a trip? You feel a little softer, things jiggle where they don’t normally… but not if you incorporate just a little bit of movement each day or stick as closely to your healthy home routine. **A bonus tip… have a Bloody Mary, because what fun is people watching at the airport without one?! ....screen time, that is.
Recently a little seed of an idea was planted in my head and ever since I heard about it, it just kept growing more and more. This January I joined a book club called "Better Than Before" based off the Gretchen Rubin book with that exact same title. In the group each of us pick one habit that we are going to work on for the month. While one of the book club member habits intrigued me, I just wasn't quite there yet. I read her blog post about it, admired her... but still I just wasn't ready. I'm talking about being on my phone. Honestly, it's always something that has bothered me. If I'm out with friends and notice that we are all on our phone, I will immediately put mine down just because I realize how absolutely silly we look. I feel very fortunate that I'm of the generation who grew up cell-phone-free but also am grateful for this awesome tool we literally have right at our fingertips. I feel as though I can appreciate the lost art of an engaged face to face conversation or know how fun it is to pick up the phone and TALK to someone rather than communication via text for hours on end. Lately, my own personal phone usage has been bothering more than ever. Last night was the last straw. I always find myself looking at my phone out of sheer habit, whether it be that I'm bored (or I think I'm bored) or I'm procrastinating from completing a task. Last night though, I could NOT fall asleep. So, I picked up my phone as a way to distract my brain. I thought, "sure, maybe I'll look at this until I'm tired and then I'll fall asleep." But it didn't work. The light bothered my eyes, and it just made my wheels spin more. Uggggh! Enough! So, today starts a new challenge for myself. Tonight, I'm going to turn my alarm on for the morning, plug in my phone and be DONE looking at it by 9:30 p.m. That's it. That's the challenge I'm setting for myself. Seems simple enough, right? We'll see. It's worth a shot and I can't wait to see how it makes me feel. Other things I am willing to try this week: -Not be the first one to get out my phone when meeting up with friends -Call someone this week when I think of them instead of text them Who's with me? Who's up for the challenge? Recently I was asked a question about the current workout program that I'm doing... it's a 60 Day Strength Training program called Hammer & Chisel and I have one and a half weeks left! Where did the time go?
My answer to the question of "Are you seeing results?" is YES. Yes, I am seeing results from it. I feel strong, each time I do a whole minute of push-ups I do one more push-up than the time before. I can easily zip up my boots over my calves (something that's always been a struggle for me... that's another story for another day). If I stand in just the right light I can see different muscle definition in my legs. My core feels stronger... like harder when I touch it stronger. I'm going to be honest though, I haven't taken an "after" measurement yet. I haven't taken a tape measure to my waist, or stepped on the scale, but I know I am seeing results. More important than that, I am FEELING results. So, while I'm unsure of my numerical results I can safely say that changes are happening whether or not the scale reflects it in the end. Being asked that question made me start to think, though. Is it the workouts in the program itself that create the results or is it the willingness to stick to it and follow it through to the end? While the workouts are awesome, challenging, effective, fun and exhausting that's not where 100% of the results are coming from. It's time for some tough love people. If you have started some sort of workout program in the past and then later thought to yourself, "that didn't work. It wasn't what I thought and I got zero results from it," then I have a question for you. Did YOU work? Did you stick to it? Did you fully commit to doing it consistently? Or did you quit? Did you do it here and there when you felt like it? Did you get frustrated when you didn't see changes in the first week of doing it? News flash: It's not the program that didn't work, it's you not doing the work of the program. If one doesn't follow through, then is saying a workout, program or system failed to offer results a fair assessment? What matters more than the program you're doing is your commitment to that program. It's your motivation to start it at day one and do it until day 21, day 30, day 60, day 90 or whenever that program ends. To me, it doesn't make a difference what kind of workouts you enjoy or what kind of program you decide to do. To me it matters that you stick to it, that you schedule time to commit to it and that you own the responsibility of it. So what does "doing it right" mean? It means:
While this may seem like tough love and real talk, just know that the key word here is LOVE. Love for yourself, love for your body, love for those in your life and love from me that I know you can do it right. You can stick to it, you can commit and you WILL see results. Do you know you can do it right??
It's time for a reality check... it is now the 20th of January. It is the 20th day after many people have committed to making healthy changes in their lives. Some people went all in, making huge, ambitious changes. Others said "screw that, I'm fine just the way I am." And then there's me. I didn't make a New Years Resolution. I didn't make big, huge changes to my life, my lifestyle or my daily routine. Sure, I joined a gym. Sure, I tried some new classes. (But who wouldn't when the joiners fee is free and the classes you tried normally have a fee?!) If you've been following my Live Well With Kell page you know I love the beginning of a new month. I even love a Monday. It's a clean slate full of opportunities to set healthy intentions. So guess what? The 2016 version of Kelly isn't all that different than the 2015 version of Kelly. Except for one thing. I've made one small adjustment to my routine. I've started setting a timer on my work calendar to get up and move. Some days I do lunges, some days I just take a quick walk, some days I do squats, sometimes I just stand up at my desk rather than sit. That's the change I've made to my routine. I still workout in the morning. I still prioritize veggies, but don't mind a sprinkle of cheese every now and then, and I still drink lots of water. Sure I have too much coffee from time to time, but that's the next adjustment. Sure I hit snooze on my alarm clock every now and then, but I'm not going to stress about it. Today I challenge you to take a look at your day, your routine and your habits. Is there just ONE thing you could make an adjustment to? I'm not even saying go all in and make a huge change... I'm saying adjust. That's it. Small adjustments are going to make big differences in the long run. Small adjustments are where healthy habits are cultivated. Need some ideas of ways that you can adjust your day? Take a look at the list below. What's one adjustment you can commit to doing THIS WEEK? What an awesome weekend I just had.... time was spent with family, we went to a friend's wedding and I got the chance to take some family photos for a good friend. For most people, this is probably an average weekend. Two years ago this weekend would have still been nice, but I wouldn't have thought much more of it than that... just a nice weekend. Honestly, I probably would have had a negative thought or two run through my head like having to drive a little bit to get where I needed to be, having to coordinate our schedules, and not having anything to wear as I dig through the dresses upon dresses that I just never "feel like wearing" We tend to do things like that-- when we have fun, happy things to do and attend we still find some negative in the situation. If you don't ever do that, then you're Super Human and I should probably spend more time with you! This weekend, though, this time around.. it was different. I am different. What's the difference? Well, before I lived close to home, I lived close to my family and I could see them any chance I wanted to. Then, we moved away... far away. We couldn't see our family any time we wanted to, we couldn't just hop in the car and make it to the family Happy Hour, we couldn't go spend a Saturday afternoon watcing a football with some of the people we love most, and we couldn't just have a fun night at our friend's wedding without buying a plane ticket and getting a hotel. When the simplicity is gone, it's then that you realize and appreciate just how wonderful it is. Friday, as I drove up the driveway to my parents house I got some goosebumps as I realized where I was at, and how quickly it took for me to get there. It's not a big production anymore, I don't have to spend 12 hours in the car to give my mom a hug, or spend at least $500 to come home to celebrate a friend's marriage. We're just here, we're close, and we're happy. Sometimes it takes taking a step back and looking in from the outside to realize the blessings you already have. While I wouldn't have traded our time away for anything as it helped us grow, learn and appreciate. It introduced us to forever friends that we would have never otherwise met, and created a bond with that is like no other. With all that said though, I'm not so sure I could be sold on distancing myself that far again. It's those little things you miss out on that become the big things you appreciate. I have to admit that I'm guilty of not listening to the safety information on an airplane. I usually have my book out and my tunes cranked shortly after getting settled into my seat. On my most recent flight, however, I actually listen to what the flight attendants had to say. As I was listening, something the flight attendant said stuck out to me. "Secure your own mask before helping others." Upon initially hearing that I thought “Hmm… that seems a little selfish.” But as I sat there and pondered on that statement I realized that is actually the farthest thing from selfish and taking care of yourself first is going to help more people in the long run. As I thought more deeply about this seemingly simple sentence I realized just how true that is in so many aspects of life. While it may sound selfish to take care of yourself and your needs before assisting others, this airline safety talk highlights just how important that is, selfish or not. If one doesn't put on their mask first then the are going to lose oxygen, maybe they'll be able to help one person but in the end they will not only sacrifice being able to help others, but they need the energy and efforts from others to help them out. Securing your own mask doesn't mean I'm suggesting completely set aside all other obligations and responsibilities, ignore the requests of your family and friends, and only do what you want and need for yourself. What I'm a suggesting is that we make a conscious decision in what and who we devote our time to, and that we take time to each day to do things that make us a better person. Setting aside time for ourselves whether it be taking two minutes to get fresh air, to devoting 30 minutes to exercise, to spending an hour on Sunday getting ready for the week ahead is not only going to help you in the long run, but also those around you. I’m also suggesting that we don’t do things out of obligation or guilt, but rather to do what is right for you, your health, your family and your relationships. It is in doing things out of obligation where we become short tempered with the people that matter most. This metaphor can be carried over to all aspects of life, not just fitness and nutrition, but spiritual, emotional, mental and financial health. The funny thing is that when one of these aspects of your life is going well, other aspects start to follow suit. When you take the time to exercise for 30 minutes daily, chances are you may make healthier food choices during the day and maybe even decide to bring your lunch to work In doing that, you turn down the invite to go out to lunch where you’ll be less likely to make a healthy choice and will end up spending extra money. Rather than feeling guilty that you’ve put a dent in your financial and calorie bank you will feel energized that you have saved in both areas and in turn will be more productive. Then, guess what happens? When you get home from work, school, or wherever your day was spent you will be in better spirits which then improves the interactions of those most important to you. A whole day changed because of one seemingly little decision to exercise your body for 30 minutes. When you don’t put your mask on first, chances are you may have the opposite spiral of events. Let's say for example, you accept the invite to get happy hour with a friend. You're not super excited to be going but you feel like you should. So, you go out for happy hour, stay a little longer than you wanted and spend a little more money than you planned. The next morning you hit snooze on your alarm because you were up late, which leads you to being rushed in the morning. You didn’t get your workout done and you barely have time to make a decent breakfast let alone prepare a healthy lunch to bring to work, grab an unhealthy lunch somewhere, feel sluggish throughout the afternoon and then feel moody which then turns into friction at home. As I thought through all the scenarios as I sat in seat 10A, I realized that putting your mask on first and being selfish of your needs will take one further than sacrificing their well-being to try to be everything to everybody around them. Now, I understand we all have responsibilities, careers and people to care for that require our time energy and effort. By no means am I saying ignore their needs and neglect them, but rather I’m suggesting to think twice about always putting other’s needs before yours, and creating time to take care of ourselves. If you don’t put that mask on you first, you’re going to lose air and in the long run won’t be there for anyone. Take care of you, and the rest will fall into place. Secure your own mask and your ability to help others will multiply. |
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