Does "Honey, these muffins are really good!"
"Oh they're just from a box."
That right there happens more often than we realize, and it happened the other day. Even as coach that works on helping women acknowledge themselves, their efforts, awesomeness and enoughness (did I just make that word up?!), I too struggle in this area.
After that short exchange, I thought to myself, "Kelly, stop it. Just say thank you. You're doing exactly what you coach your clients NOT to do. Does the fact that there were from a box or from scratch change that compliment he just gave me? Does it matter that they're probably not super healthy? Ugh....!"
With the conclusion of those thoughts, I simply added... "But, thank you. I'm glad you like them!"
WHY DO WE GET SO AWKWARD WHEN WE ARE GIVEN A COMPLIMENT?
The short answer is this: it doesn't happen enough.
The long answer is this: It doesn't happen enough starting with ourselves. We don't stop, slow down, observe and reflect on the good things about ourselves. Therefore, we then struggle to acknowledge others and often hold back something nice we notice about someone else.
When we have a hard time seeing the good in ourselves, we aren't as easily able to verbalize the good we see in others, or we look at their awesomeness as a comparison in areas where we may feel we are lacking. As the saying goes, dimming someone else's light won't make yours shine any brighter.... or something like that. You could also translate that saying to acknowledgement. We could say, shining their light won't make yours any dimmer.
Acknowledgement is also a little bit scary. It can feel vulnerable. Say you're at the checkout line at the store and the person in front of you has the coolest jacket you've ever seen. Do you tell them? Or do you just look at it, then they see you looking at them... and then they think have food in their teeth? When we go out of our way to compliment them, we don't really know how they'll respond. "Will they think I'm weird? Is it creepy to tell them that I noticed?" So we just don't say anything at all.... and then that person leaving the store is wondering if their hair is sticking up instead of feeling super awesome about their style.
Do you see the ripple effect?
So, my friend, today I challenge you to acknowledge yourself... like genuinely give yourself a shout out for something you did that was hard, for something that took a little extra effort, for taking action, or for something you just really like about yourself. Be your own hype team. Then, after that, acknowledge someone else is your life. Again, be genuine about it.
If you're loving this concept and want some accountability to do it more often, join me in my free coaching community. For the month of November we are making it a challenge to acknowledge ourselves and one other person every single day. I'm excited to be a part of this, and the ripple effect it will create.
Will you join us?