This weekend I ran to a local boutique in my mom's town to pick up a Christmas gift. After I grabbed what I needed I wandered a bit more, and there it was. A hat. THE hat. I tried it on. Immediate love. A hat has never made me feel more alive… ever. Upon trying it on I texted my husband very specific directions as to how to make this hat mine for Christmas. (practicing discipline here, people!) He called me and said “Get the hat. It can be a Christmas present if you want it to be… but just get the hat. You love it. You want it. Buy it.”  This hat was a full-body, absolute rock-my-world hellzzz yes! 
 
It was 100% in alignment with the concept: if it's not a hell yes, it's a no. 
 
I love that concept, it's right and fitting in so many ways…. and yet it's also way too simplified. 
 
Some of the best yes's in my life have actually looked a little bit more like this: 
“Omg no way. I can't. No. Absolutely not. Damn it. Fine. Yes.” 
 
That, my friends, it called resistance. Sometimes we are handed an idea or opportunity that actually scares us and initially feels like a no. We are resistant to it. Why? Because it will knock us out of our cozy comfort zone. But your comfort zone is actually your slow death. It's where complacency lives. It's where fine becomes good enough. Eventually, staying within your comfort zone becomes a whole lot scarier than stretching outside of it.
 
Here are some examples some NOT hell yes's in my life:

• Creating Founder Magazine.  It wasn't a hell yes for me immediately. It was a no. It was more like a wtf? where did this idea come from? kind of no. Then… surrender. Yes. I had to say yes.
• Becoming a published author by writing a chapter in an anthology book.  I was asked to design a book cover for a writing coach's project. That was an absolute YES. Then she asked me if I wanted to write a chapter. Immediate NO. Absolutely not. Then, it shifted into another “okay fine… yes.” I knew I had a story in me to share, and yet I was so afraid of what it would require of me to write it. Turns out, writing that opened up a whole world inside of me.

These two creative endeavors were not something I was seeking, nor were they easy. But, they were right.  Was the timing perfect? Nope. Typically never is. Was I ready? No…but I didn't need to be. They were the right next opportunity presented on my path, even though initially upon hearing them I felt a deep resistance. 
 
I share this with you to just remind you — sometimes our best YES's actually don't feel like a hell yes. Sometimes our best yes's feel more like “omg no, I can't. Damn it. Fine. Yes. I'll do it.” 
 
My tip: Honor those instant absolute yes's AND also be on to yourself… be curious about the no's that want to be a yes. You know exactly the no's I'm talking about. ;)
 
Side note: The book Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes is a great read that supports this. 
 
This week, I challenge you… say yes more than no. Say yes to the things that freak you out a little bit. And then, in a week, 6 months, a year… whenever… tell me what you said yes to and how it changed you in the best way possible. 
 

Beware of people who get mad about Taylor Swift.

You know who I’m talking about… from those who passively roll their eyes with a “whatever” to those who have a fiery passion of “omg I can’t stand her!”

Why?  For they are likely the very people who will have something to say when you step into bigness too. They’re the ones who will be the people thinking all the judgemental thoughts you’ve been so afraid of people thinking about you:

Who does she think she is?
She’s so attention-seeking.
She’s changed. 
What happened to her? 
…. The list goes on.

To see this is to free yourself from the fear of this. 
To accept “yeah, they’ll probably judge me as I grow too” is actually freeing, not stifling.

Because you know you. And you know that when you step into your bigness it’s not like you’re TRYING to seek attention or all those things you’re afraid of…
No.
What happens is you become magnetizing… and more attention likely veers your way.  It’s not something you can control or run away from. It simply just is.

It’s not your job to control who sees it or to control what they think about it.

When you’re SO you, you’re actually thoughtless. And that is it…. That’s the magnet. Seeing a person just so into LIFE is mesmerizing.

You are screaming “I’ll have what she’s having” vibes. And that can feel so weird for other people… but you’re so into what you’re having that you don’t even notice their discomfort with your comfort of who you are, and enjoyment of what you have.

You're into your partner, you’re into the music, you’re into the food, you’re into the book you’re reading, you’re into your friends, you’re into your business, you're into that beautiful image reflecting back to you in the mirror, you’re into your LIFE.

This makes me think of my dad. He was who he was through and through. The man did what he did without giving two hoots about what other people thought. And the line at his funeral was out the door…..

Turns out Tom & Taylor have a lot in common-- they’re both magnetic and utterly unaware of it all (in the most freeing way possible).

Here’s the secret sauce to you releasing the fear of other people’s judgments:

You're not going to control what they think. 
But you can also see the clues. 
Pay attention to the people around you. 
The ones who are hating on Tay Tay may likely hate on you when you rise up too. 
And the ones who are all about her… they’re going to cheer you on too. 
See that now. Know it, be okay with it, and then move forward (toward the lovers, not the haters, I might add).

While I don’t claim myself as a Swiftie, I am all about it. I’m intrigued and I’m here for it. And I’ll be there for you too.  You’re rising to T-Swift status and you can count me in your corner as one of the peeps cheering you on. ​

Letting Go of Expectations: One of the first things I had to release was the burden of living up to others' expectations. I realized that in order to truly thrive, I needed to embrace my authentic self and let go of the need to conform. By shedding the weight of societal expectations, I was able to tap into my true potential and radiate my unique brilliance.

Letting Go of Fear: Fear has often been a roadblock on my entrepreneurial path. However, I have come to understand that fear is not a stop sign but merely a speed bump. Instead of allowing fear to paralyze me, I have learned to acknowledge its presence and use it as a catalyst for growth. By embracing fear as a part of the process, I have been able to move forward with courage and determination.

Letting Go of Isolation: In the early stages of my business, I often felt isolated and alone. However, I soon realized the importance of connection and community. By seeking out like-minded individuals and building a network of support, I have been able to find inspiration, guidance, and a sense of belonging. Letting go of isolation has allowed me to thrive in a collaborative and empowering environment.

Letting Go of the Need for Constant Comfort: As a business owner, I have learned that growth often requires stepping outside of my comfort zone. I had to let go of the belief that everything should always feel good. Embracing discomfort and pushing through challenging situations has been instrumental in my personal and professional development. By choosing growth over comfort, I have been able to achieve remarkable results and unlock new levels of success.

Letting Go of Allowing Feelings to Drive the Bus: In the past, I allowed my emotions to dictate my decisions. However, I have come to realize that I am not my feelings. Instead of being a passenger to my emotions, I have taken control of the wheel. By acknowledging my feelings without letting them control me, I have become a more empowered and intentional business owner. This shift has allowed me to make decisions based on logic, strategy, and long-term vision.

Letting go has been a transformative process on my journey as a business owner. By releasing expectations, fear, isolation, the need for constant comfort, and allowing my feelings to drive the bus, I have experienced tremendous growth and fulfillment. As you embark on your own entrepreneurial path, I encourage you to reflect on these aspects and consider what you may need to let go of in order to reach your full potential. Embrace the power of letting go and watch as your business and personal life flourish.

Do you love this post? Dive into Episode # 30 of the What If Podcast called "What If Letting Go Makes You The Best Business Owner?"