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Short answer: Shift from dreamer to do-er. Long Answer: This blog post below. Read on: & get happier! Right now you're likely generating a lot of really awesome ideas & that feels exciting to you. They're lighting you up & giving you this dopamine hit. And that's about as far as it goes. When it comes to the action & execution - the how - you freeze. You don't move forward. Why? Because you're so exhausted from your idea excitement that you don't have any actual energy left to do. However, when you allow yourself space and time each day to get clear on what it is you really want to create - and actually slow down the process rather than just straight to excitement - you have an even great ability to create, and in turn have a bigger dopamine hit because you become a person who isn't just lit up with ideas, but instead becomes completely satisfied with what they have brought to life. This is where Flourish comes in. It's a 3-step proven process that I walk people through in Founder, a self-paced 30 day journey where you allow yourself space and time to fill in the blank for: "I am the Founder of _____." It's process that brings you from being a constant idea junkie to instead letting ideas come and go without attachment to the outcome. Then over 30 days, you'll see themes for yourself and it will become so clear on exactly what you'll take action on. And I'm not talking start & start again action... I'm talking action where you're aligned deeply with the purpose and vision that you won't want to stop taking action it until it's complete. Perhaps, for the first time in your life, you won't be a person who quits on yourself, and that is the hugest dopamine hit ever. That is where your character is built. Founder is something to be experienced, not explained, just like the satisfaction that comes along with being a person who finishes what they started- a person who creates something from nothing. There is magic inside the formula. And when you stop exhausting all your energy from constantly starting and stopping ideas and instead become clear of like the bigger picture & vision, that is when you get to become so proud of yourself. You get to sit back and marvel. You get to say "yeah, I did that." Maybe you are feeling good right now as not being the founder because you're getting ideas and these ideas are fun. But what if you could feel even better by delaying your dopamine and allowing yourself to actually execute an idea that you have and bring it to life,? That is bold, and that is what you are capable of if you desire to become the founder. Listen to episode #18 of the podcast:Enroll in Founder- a program I've created for the person who wants to say "I am the Founder of..."
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What if you've been committed to the struggle or committed to something that actually is not working for you anymore? It's likely become so much easier for you to be committed to the struggle that comes along with playing small because you've become used to it and maybe you're pretty good at it. But staying small and staying in the "safe zone" is actually getting really uncomfortable. You're starting to feel resentful, frustrated, annoyed, maybe even hating Mondays. That's uncomfortable... but it's unconscious uncomfortable. It's a discomfort happening to you rather than a discomfort you are choosing up front to pass through and inevitably have greater joy & ease down the road. When you become a Founder, you choose discomfort, and it happens earlier on in the process. And they choose it every day and they sit with it. That is their growth. They choose for it to be a part of their process and they allow it. Recently on a coaching call, my client was dealing with the discomfort of confrontation. To speak up early on the process of a project? Or to avoid discomfort of confrontation, keep her mouth shut and then have it catch up with her later on in the project lifecycle? What was happening was she didn't want to confront the superiors in her project regarding the gaps and the flaws and the missing pieces that she saw early on in the project. So she shrugged them off. But what actually happened is she internalized a quite a bit of that which brought up feeling of annoyance and frustration. Instead of like allowing the early on discomfort and saying hey, have we thought about this? Have we considered this? I know you don't wanna hear this, but we're missing a key part of this project. More than an unwillingness for herself to feel uncomfortable, she didn't want to be the one to create discomfort for others. To avoid their hard feelings, she wore them for herself. That is people pleasing 101. That is trying manipulate someone else's experience. Down the road that confrontation inevitably came up in the project because those gaps and those flaws caught up with themselves. In having a conversation about this, and the gift of hindsight, she was able to see the power of making a choice next time. She was able to see that discomfort is likely a part of every project process and to avoid more discomfort in the long run she had to face the upfront discomforts that presented themself along the way, like speaking up even if it might make others uncomfortable. When you're like the audacious, bold person, you choose discomfort and you choose it early on. Discomfort shows up with you no matter what. Here a few key questions that you may notice you ask yourself when you're unwilling to face discomfort:
These what ifs are the things that have you avoiding becoming the founder, avoiding doing what you want. And then in turn, here's that Monday again that you're not loving. Here's like those weekends where you drink or you eat, you binge on ice cream on the evenings to escape the week. The Founder is no longer committed to the same struggles. They're no longer committed to the same discomfort. They are instead committed to noticing that discomfort is going to be there, and they have a willingness to confront it and face it now instead of avoid it and know that it's going to catch up with them later on. The Founder is no longer committed to the struggles that are keeping them small, but instead they're committed to facing the expansion that helps them play big. A What part of you needs to let go of that to become the founder- the person who is willing to be committed to the struggles, the discomfort, the truth, the awareness that comes along with playing big? Listen to episode #17 of the What If podcast here.Enroll in Founder- a program I've created for the person who wants to say "I am the Founder of..."What if you're capable of working really hard? There's this narrative I'm seeing out there that makes working hard look like you're struggling. You should always be in flow. It should always be easy and light. For some time I felt shame that I DO work hard in my business. Like I was bad, wrong or failing because I put my nose down and focused and that I wasn't sipping lattes in coffee shops seeing Stripe payments flood my inbox just for existing. While I don't disagree that loving what you do can create a high-vibe light & flowy work feeling, I also don't want to dismiss that it takes hard work to be a founder. It takes hard work to show up. But guess what? It's okay to work hard. This is why Founder, a program that utilizes my proven 3-part Flourish Framework, is so vital to your willingness to work hard. I've opened up a process for you to allow yourself the space to get really clear on what it is you're doing currently and what it is you want to be doing. When you get so clear and aligned with the work you want to be doing, then the hard work that inevitably comes along with it doesn't feel hard in a hustle sort of way, but hard in a tenacious, I am capable, sort of way. That's a huge difference. When you're aligned with your desires and create from that space, rather than from obligation, you are willing to show up to do what is required of you to bring your gifts to light. In order to do that, it can start with one thought. We can think of thoughts like this: the sole purpose of a thought is to help us create a feeling that will ignite us to take action. So, let's take my thoughts around my own coaching business as an example for how you can do this for yourself. In order for people to work with me, I have to create desire for them to want to. And in order to do that, I need to have thoughts that show people why this is desirable. When I think things like: people don't want this, then showing up feels hard. It would feel like a grind and hustle. That wouldn't be sustainable, and it wouldn't sell. So, I had to get really clear with myself as to why I put this out into the world. My why was this: I want to create 100 resignations (this is my big audacious goal for 2023). If I want to. create 100 resignations. Knowing that is my desire I then I needed to create a pool of thoughts that would allow me the willingness to work hard and show up. Some thoughts I created were:
After creating these thoughts that aligned with my desire, I then read through them & paid attention to my body. Some of them felt stale, some of them felt numb. They didn't activate me. But then I noticed what happened to me when I read the thought: Everyone wants to love what they do. That thought created a jolt within me. I felt a charge from that thought, and the charge of that thought was certainty. I believe in my bones that people want to love what they do. They want to love how they spend their time, and they want to do the work that fulfills them so they can put their head on their pillow at night and say, wow, I did that today. Or when they wake up in the morning, they can put their feet on the ground and say Let's go day. God woke me up today, so I'm going to live. That one thought makes showing up to talk about coaching easy for me. It removes the resistance in my brain to the things that will inevitable come up that i don't really like to do... like editing this post. Not my favorite thing to do, but if it helps a woman love what she does, I am willing to take the time do that. So here's a rundown of how the process goes: 1) Decide how you want to feel. 2) Create thoughts that creates that feeling. 3) Look at your list of thoughts, while paying attention to your body. Which one evokes the feeling you desire? 4) Choose that thought- that is your anchor thought. That makes working hard, well, easy. So again, I ask what if you're actually capable of working really hard? Take yourself through this process & see what sort of anchor thoughts supports your desire. Listen to episode #16 of the What If podcast here.Enroll in Founder- a program I've created for the person who wants to say "I am the Founder of..." What, if you could say, I am the founder of, That is the goal and that is the intention behind founder. Founder is a program that I'm giving to you that uses my three part Flourish framework. It is a proven system, a proven framework that will help you get crystal clear on what it is that you want to become the founder of. Because here's the thing, there is a founder in all of us. We are all capable people. We are all people who want to love what we do. And for some of us, we are very happy in our nine to five job and doing that and finding so much joy and fulfillment out of that. To you I say congratulations! Stay the path & celebrate that for yourself! Then, there are others in this world who are fine at their job, they're satisfied-ish. But they know there's a rumbling inside of them that there is something more that they're meant to do, create, and be. There's something missing in their work that they desire to fulfill on their own individual way through their own creation from bringing something to nothing. However, when people share this desire with me, when they share what it is that they want to do, that they want to be a founder, they also slow themselves down because they aren't so clear yet on what it is they want to create, which then stops them dead in their tracks because they're unable to see the how. Well, how will I become a founder? This is where Founder helps you. Founder is a slow-down on the what. It's an opportunity for you to become so crystal clear on what it is that you are going to be the founder of. So then the how comes easily. You inevitably do the things that Foudner calls you to do. The framework used to help you get to this place of inevitable possibility is called Flourish. Think of it like a plant. You literally flourish into the founder. The three parts are the seed, the weeds & the sun. Applying this practice for 30 days will take discipline and commitment. You'll also need to let go of perfection. You might not do it perfectly for 30 days, but what you are doing is you're opening up your mind to possibility. You're opening up yourself to what is it that you like and desire to create. You'll also see what's stopping you, and how to ensure that no matter what you're going to create it anyway regardless of what the fears are, regardless of what your brain tells you. The Story Behind the Name I was having a conversation with one of my coaching clients who has been a longtime listener of the What If podcast. I had an interview a gal on here and she introduced herself as the founder of, and then she named her business. My client shared "I was listening to your podcast & heard Haley introde herself as a founder. And in that moment I realized I want to be the founder. Someday I want to say I am the founder." That's it. That's the story behind the title. Not Having Is Not Wanting One last thing I want to share with you is: not having is not wanting. You say you want to be the founder, except right now you're not. What that means, is that there is actually a part of you that doesn't desire this... likely rooted in fear. This is why the Flourish framework is so vital. It shows to you all the sneaking ways you actually don't want to be the founder, and when you see that you take back your power. You see what's been slowing you down... and then you get to decide. No, I actually DO what to be the Founder. It helps you get so clear on your own uniqueness, your own God-given gifts and talents so that you can only want to create. Open up your mind to a new world of possibility and ask yourself what if I could say, I am the founder of? What if you could allow that process of knowing what you're going to be the founder of to become accelerated. What if in 30 days from now you could say I am the founder? We are going to accelerate your journey. We are going to help you become the founder that God made you to be. God woke you up today. Why? Why did God wake you up today to become you? To live out your life fully as you? And for some of you, you get that rich fulfillment in your job currently. And for that I say congratulations, like from my deepest, the deepest parts of me. I say congratulations, because I know how it feels to be the person who isn't feeling that satisfaction & fulfillment in their work. I know how it feels to feel guilty that you should be fulfilled in what you do. I know how it feels to ask myself what's wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy at my job? Why can't I just be a person who is fulfilled in their work? There is nothing wrong with you at all. The only problem is you haven't allowed yourself to deeply explore what gifts you're meant to share with the world Allow yourself this experience. Allow yourself desire and discipline to bring this title to life once and for all. Join Founder today! To join Founder, head over to www.livewellwithkell.com/founder or simply click here. |
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